#whoever this man she's with is he must love her very much because it's been this way since september and im over it but shes NOT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

therealcocoshady · 6 months ago

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Love Game

Author’s Note : shoutout to @shady-577 for texting me the idea for this 👀. Y’all think I’m the Angst queen ? You haven’t met this amazing human being 😂.

TW : ANGST

Marshall raised an eyebrow when he walked in Denaun’s place and noticed shopping bags everywhere. He knew his friends liked clothing but the quantity was over the top. The whole living room was filled with tons of new clothes, with items from various designers’ most recent collections.

- New wardrobe ? He asked.

- Yeah, I figured I could use an update, his friend shrugged. Apparently, I should try wearing things that are more fitted.

- Who said that ? He chuckled. Did you hire a stylist too ?

- I’m just trying to keep up, man, Denaun said evasively. Not everyone wears the same sweatpants and Lions apparel, you know. Maybe it wouldn’t kill you to make an effort either…

- I’m fine, thanks, he chortled. Seriously, though, what’s that for ?

He started looking at the items his friend had bought and noticed it wasn’t only clothes. He spotted bags from various stores, containing expensive candles and even skincare. That’s the it hit him : there was a lady. And like the asshole he very much was, he was not about to lose an opportunity to make fun of his best friend.

- I know your fifties are just around the corner but… skincare ? He asked with a smirk.

- I need to moisturize, Denaun replied. My skin’s a little dry.

- And the candles ? He asked with a raised eyebrow. Just admit it ! You’re seeing someone !

His friend gave him an annoyed look and sighed, not denying anything. It made sense. As refined as Denaun could be, he was not the type to invest in $90 candles that smelled like peonies. His friend had not really been in luck with the ladies, in the past years, and he was happy he finally found someone. He was a great guy and he deserved some happiness.

- What’s her name ? He asked.

- Shut up, Denaun replied in embarrassment.

- She hot ? He asked with a smirk. Slutty ?

- Man, don’t talk about her like that ! His friend snapped.

- I was just asking, he said in his own defense.

Damn. If he was getting defensive, it must mean he really liked that girl. Whoever she was, he just hoped she was worth it. Denaun was a sweet guy but he had a knack for only attracting the wrong girls, the ones who ended up playing him. He also knew he was to blame, in a way : he couldn’t count the times when women dates his friends in hope to get closer to him. He had always tried to make his friends benefit from his status but, when it came to the ladies, it wasn’t too easy and a lot of them were only interested because of the money or the fact that they could meet Eminem, without really caring about the guys they were dating. Before he could say anything more, they heard the doorbell and, minutes later, you were walking in, carrying bags of freshly baked cupcakes, both sweet and salty.

- Hi boys, you said before giving both of them a peck on the cheek. Where are the others ?

- Running late, Denaun said. Let me help you with that.

He grabbed the bags of cupcakes and went to put them in the kitchen, while you babbled to him about the flavors. You were so cute, thinking about everyone and what they liked. You had memorized everyone’s favorites so that you could make them. You had walked into their life a couple of months ago and the whole group agreed that you were the sweetest thing on earth. With your fluttery eyelashes and warm smile, you managed to turn these Detroit rappers into gentlemen and, whether it was Bizarre, Swift, Kuniva, Denaun or Marshall, they were at your beck and call. You had them wrapped around your finger, especially when you wore your flowy sundresses. Marshall was partial to your white one. The last time he had seen it, it was in a ball, on the floor of your bedroom, while he was fucking you senseless. Ironically, it was the night you wore this innocent little number that he had discovered what a freak you could be, happy that he had finally given in on the attraction. Your chemistry was off the charts and, looking back, he was surprised either of you had waited that long before sealing the deal. He kept on looking at you while you were talking to Denaun, remembering the view he had when he fucked you from behind and you were begging him to go harder. The memory almost gave him a boner and he wondered if you wearing the white dress was intentional, debating whether or not it should happen again. On the one hand, the sex had been so great only a fool would turn down the opportunity for more but, on the other, he didn’t want to make things complicated. The two of you were friends and you fit right within the group. If he slept with you again, you might get the wrong idea, catch feelings, and it would ruin the whole thing. The others wouldn’t forgive him either : they were all protective of you and they loved having you around, enjoying your sarcastic comments, terrific cooking skills and encouragements. He didn’t want to hurt you. Even though you weren’t nearly as innocent as the others imagined you were, you were a sweet little thing.

- I need to go and put these away, Denaun said as he gestured to the bags.

- You went shopping ? You asked.

- I think he’s got someone to impress, Marshall couldn’t help but grin.

- You mentioned something about fits and neutral colors, Denaun said as he royally ignored Marshall.

- Glad to know you take my advice, you giggled. Wait… is that the Dyptique candle I mentioned ?

- Figured it wouldn’t hurt to try a new smell for the house, he shrugged nervously. You were right. Peonies is a nice scent.

You giggled and pecked him on the cheek, happy to notice he was taking your advice. Marshall quietly stared as you brushed Denaun’s shoulder, mentioning something about his biceps being bigger. You being all touchy-feely wasn’t surprising, you were like that with everyone, but his friend was looking all flustered. That’s when he realized what should have been obvious : you were the girl Denaun was doing all of this for. Of all people in the group, the two of them were the guys you were closest with but he had never interpreted your friendship with Denaun to be more than that. He wasn’t too sure of how he felt about it, though. Did you hook up with him too ? Did he mistake some slutty behavior for some off the charts chemistry ? He frowned and kept to himself the whole afternoon, even when the others joined. He didn’t talk and, instead, paid attention to your every move. You were the flirty type, for sure. Always had been. But it was painfully obvious that Denaun was under your spell, making sure to make room for you on the couch, fluffing the pillow on your side, making sure you always had a glass in your hand. The worst part was that you didn’t even seem to realize it. How could you though ? You were used to all of them giving you the princess treatment all the time. It was like some magic power you had : whenever you walked into a room, you managed to turn gangsters into southern gentlemen. You did it gracefully, effortlessly, pecking their cheek, giving them nicknames and batting your eyelashes. Even himself was guilty of giving you a special treatment, falling victim to your « Hi handsome », spoken in your sultry voice that could draw anyone in. He was always soft with you. Everyone was. They were all whipped. You had often joked about not needing a boyfriend or husband because your rapper friends kept you happy, but now that it was obvious that Denaun had feelings, it was sad. The worst part about it is that he was protective, urging the others to put some respect on your name whenever they made some joke. His friend was a great guy, who obviously only had the best intentions, unlike himself whose actions towards you were more so driven by lust and desire. When everyone went home, he decided to confront Denaun.

- So… Y/N, huh ? He asked as he scratched his throat.

- Is it that obvious ? Denaun asked with a worried look on his face.

- I don’t know, he shrugged. Have you guys fucked around ?

- No, no, his friend assured him. She’s not like that. She’s a lady.

If only he knew the lady he was mentioning had been on her knees, weeks ago, begging for him to choke her. It was almost painful, at this point. If he had known of his friend’s feelings, he never would have given in on the attraction.

- Does she know ? He questioned. That you like her ?

- No, his friend sighed. I wanted to ask her out but… when she mentioned she wasn’t looking for anyone, I didn’t dare. Plus, I wouldn’t want to ruin the friendship.

- You really care, huh ?

- Man, I don’t want to sound corny or whatever but… I think I’m in love with her, his hype man confessed.

- In love ?! With Y/N ?! He almost gasped.

- Man, have you seen her ? Denaun asked. She’s so beautiful. And so nice to us. And for once, there’s a woman who sees us, praises us as emcees. She’s always hyping me up, I can talk to her about my own projects. Finally, there’s a woman who doesn’t only sees me as your hype man. No offense, bro. Love the job but… you know. Most of the time, you’re Eminem and we’re chopped liver. Y/N, she’s not like that. She treats us all the same.

He hummed and looked away, hoping he would be able to have a neutral expression. The last thing he needed was to crush his friend’s heart and tell him that, though you did treat them all the same most of the time, he had painted your walls white, weeks ago, and made you cry tears of pleasure, abusing each and every one of your walls, doing some nasty shit to you.

- I’ll tell her, eventually, he shrugged.

- About your feelings, you mean ? He asked.

- Yeah. I want to treat her right, give her what she deserves, his friend said with a smile. I’ve never met a girl like her. She’s special.

- That, she is, he agreed.

Marshall liked you. He liked you a lot. You always brightened his day, laughing at his stupid jokes, keeping him fed and down to earth, with your cooking and humor. You also kept him humble. There was nothing not to like about you, lovely person that you were and, in hindsight, it wasn’t surprising that Denaun had fallen for you. And his friend was right : you did deserve the world, as well as a man who was willing to give it to you. Only he knew he couldn’t be that man. He didn’t want to, either. As great as you were, dating wasn’t in the cards and he knew it. He would have gladly enjoyed you as a friend with benefits but he couldn’t do that to Denaun. Not when his feelings were so sweet, so noble.

That night, for the first time, he didn’t reply right away when you texted him and he even found some lame excuse not to see you, when you asked if he wanted to come by your place. There was no way he could keep on fucking you and, with the chemistry the two of you shared, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle himself if he was alone with you. There was something terribly intoxicating about your pheromones and, whenever he was in your presence, he couldn’t see straight, only being able to focus on you, anything you did and said. You tried reaching out to him regularly but ended up giving up. The two of you crossed paths a couple of weeks later, when Denaun invited you to listen to some beats he’d made in his hope studio. When you walked in, everyone greeted you with a hug, as usual, except for Marshall, who was rather cold. You were extremely hurt that he would give you the cold shoulder, this behavior being so unlike him. So far, he had always been extremely warm towards you but now, you could feel him take a step back and it broke your heart. He ignored you for most of the day, even though you regularly glanced at him. He was acting normal with the others and you were the only one he was different with. When he went to the kitchen to grab a drink in the fridge, you followed him.

- Marshall ? You asked nervously.

- Mmmh ? He asked without so much as looking at you.

- Ahem… can we talk ?

- I should go back to the others, he replied coldly.

- Marsh, it’s sort of important, you pressed him. Can we go outside ?

- What is it ? He sighed.

- We need to talk about… you know… us, you babbled. I mean, what happened…

- There’s no us, he said immediately. Nothing happened.

- Are you serious ? You asked in disbelief.

- Just because I fucked you doesn’t mean there’s anything between us, Y/N, he said coldly. You don’t mean anything, alright ?!

You bit your lip, visibly flushed with embarrassment and overcome with sadness. Marshall stared at you, an unreadable expression on his face. Your face was crumbling but his was steady, unmoved. His gaze was cold, devoid of emotion. You scoffed and mumbled an « ok then » before turning and meeting Denaun’s gaze. He looked visibly hurt.

- I was coming to get you guys but, obviously, you have your own stuff, he said in a sad voice.

- Shit, bro, it-its not-, Marshall began.

- I don’t want to talk to you, man, Denaun replied.

You were about to say something, at least try and mumble an apology but, before you could get any word out of your mouth, you started feeling dizzy and nauseous. You ran to the nearest bathroom, tears in your eyes, holding your nonexistent stomach. So much for telling Marshall you wet pregnant, you guessed.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine

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feyhunter78 · 8 months ago

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Chapter Five - A tourney is held to celebrate Lord Stark's appointment to the small council, and your sworn sword is taking part.

Ch 6

The journey home from Winterfell was long, the journey there had been long, but now you were able to return to your chambers. To lay in your bed, to shed your fur lined cloaks and return to the light, airy fabrics you much preferred.

The Keep is a flurry of movement, arrangements for new small council members and meetings, noblemen switching out their sons and daughter within the Keep, new servants and merchants arriving.

You attend your lessons with Sansa now, she is slightly behind you, being younger, but she is a quick study. Myrcella enjoys having her in lessons as well, and the three of you quickly become close. The three of you spend time in the godswood, picnicking and gossiping, filling Sansa in on all the rumors that swirl around the Red Keep.

It is one such occasion that you first hear it. “I have heard tale that my Uncle Renley prefers the company of men.” Myrcella whispers as she passes a lemon cake to Sansa.

Sansa’s shocked expression makes you giggle. “Come now, Sansa, you must know there are men like that.”

“I have heard of such things but…” She trails off, taking a bite of her cake.

“It seems to be much more prevalent in Dorne, all manner of things are allowed there.” You take a sip of your tea, spotting Jon lingering on the edge of the godswood with Ghost, Theon lounging in the grass beside them.

“I pity whoever is to be married to him, how will she ever have children?” Myrcella laments, her golden tresses falling forward as she reaches for a blueberry scone.

“Why would that prevent her from having children?” Sansa asks, her eyes cast to the blanket you all sat upon.

“Because he will not…you know…” You lean forward, dropping your voice to a whisper. “Be able to get it up.”

The confusion is clear on her face, and you send a prayer to the Mother for forgiveness over the innocence you are about to ruin.

“A man’s…member must be erect in order for marital acts to be completed, he will not be able to spill his seed otherwise.” You continue feeling your face heat up. Your father had instructed a septa to give you a very frank talk about intercourse when you first bled, it was informative but jarring. Then you sought out some of the older maids to fill in the gaps of knowledge in a gentler way.

“So, if he is not attracted to his future wife, or women at all, it will not get erect?” Sansa asks, putting the pieces together in her mind.

“Which means no children.” Myrcella finishes Sansa’s thought for her.

Sansa wrinkles her nose, a gesture you are certain she picked up from you. “I cannot imagine.”

“Perhaps the marriage will be a strategic one?” You say, tearing some grass out and letting it blow away in the wind.

Lady raises her head and watches them go, then sets it back down in Sansa’s lap.

Sansa runs her fingers through Lady’s fur, mulling over your words. “I do not think I could marry for strategy; I want to marry for love.”

Myrcella rakes her teeth across her bottom lip. “I do not think I will have a choice.”

You rub your cousin’s back soothingly. “You do not know that.”

Sansa perks up. “Let us play a game, we shall describe our perfect husband and then see if it matches to any lords in the court.”

You smile, her childish innocence perfectly distracts Myrcella.

“I shall go first, then?” Myrcella says, thinking for a moment before beginning. “I would like someone my age or a little older, but not by much. Tall with dark hair and dark eyes, the exact opposite of my brothers. Intelligent, a good swordsman, gentle, and a good dancer. And if he had sisters or female cousins for me to befriend, I would like that as well. Oh, and am I terrible if I say I would wish him to be tan? I do so love the look of bronzed skin; it looks so warm.”

You nod at Sansa, who begins. “Someone my age as well, with light hair and emerald eyes, a golden prince who enjoys festivities and is noble like a great knight.”

You and Mycella share a look.

“Sansa it is supposed to be your perfect husband, not your potential betrothed.” You remind her, thanking the gods that Sansa and Joffrey’s betrothal had been delayed thanks to all the excitement when you left Winterfell. It seemed Lord Stark could not think of betrothing his daughter while Bran lay in a coma, so the matter had not been brought up in many weeks.

“Come now, Sansa, we will not tell Joffrey, speak from the heart.” Myrcella encourages, poking Sansa’s arm playfully.

“Joffrey is my perfect husband, but if I must give a different answer…” She trails off, and you can see her eyes flickering to Theon unconsciously. “Perhaps a little older, tall, and strong, but not too broad like The Hound, with light eyes and hair that looks as if it has been tousled by the sea, someone who can make me laugh, and is loyal to those he cares for.”

“That sounds like a very good man.” You say, drawing Sansa’s attention away from Theon.

“Yes, well, Joffrey is many of those things. Now y/n, it is your turn.”

“I agree with you both, no old men, someone strong, a good swordsman, but I must side with Mycrella on looks, I would like a dark-haired man as well, with dark eyes and a gentle soul. Perhaps someone loyal and well-read? And I would like to be friends with my husband, as well as be his wife.”

“It would be nice to be friends with your husband, so many women are simply wives or mothers or broodmares.” Myrcella says, tearing her scone into tiny pieces. “I pity whoever Joffrey marries.”

“Prince Joffrey is a good man; I am sure he will be a wonderful companion to his wife.” Sansa sniffs.

You purse your lips. Your father said you are not to interfere, to let Sansa realize Joffrey’s true nature on her own, but it is difficult.

“House Beesbury has many men like you described, Sansa, perhaps we should look for them during the next feast.” Myrcella says, brushing her hands off on her skirts.

“House Beesbury is a good house, or House Royce, both I believe will be sending knights for the Tourney of the Hand.” You add.

Now it is your turn to clutch Sansa’s hand as Jon faces off against Thoros of Myr. You knew the Red Priest would not hurt him, it was Jon’s first tourney, but you still feared for him. Anything could happen, he could be blinded by the sun, the Red Priest could be seized with divine madness, or the others that Jon had already defeated to reach Thoros could try to interfere and sabotage him.

Jon’s stance is steady, his sword—which glints in the sunlight, a gift from you, for his nameday—at the ready. Strong and sturdy made of the finest steel outside of Valyrian, the pommel set with an emerald, a direwolf carved into the crossguard.

“May the Lord of Light have mercy on you, my son.” Thoros says as he and Jon circle each other.

Jon says nothing, only nods and watches the older man.

Thoros’ sword is aflame with wildfire, the flames dance as he swings it gracefully, waiting for Jon to strike.

“Will the fire burn him?” Sansa asks, watching the two men through her fingers.

“Never seen Jon get burned before.” Theon shrugs.

Sansa hisses a reply at him, her head whipping forward when you gasp.

Jon strikes, fast as a whip, their swords meeting, the sound of iron on iron echoing in the ring. He has been training with Lord Aron Santagar, your uncle’s master-at-arms, or your Uncle Jaime whenever he has free time. Which is often as you do not have much to do most days, besides lessons and subtly attempting to convince Sansa to realize her feelings for Theon.

Thoros lunges, nearly catching Jon by surprise, but Jon side steps, kicking up dust as he moves.

Your heart is in your throat, and you stand, your hand still in Sansa’s when the duelers meet face to face once more. It is a show of strength, and you send a quick prayer to the Warrior, your eyes never leaving Jon’s form. Thoros is gaining, pushing at Jon, his feet sliding in the dirt, his arms trembling.

“Knock him flat, Jon!” Sansa’s voice surprises even you, as she jumps to her feet, Theon’s laughter ringing behind you both.

You are not even sure if Jon can hear her, but he seems emboldened, and he shoves the older man forward with a grunt. Thoros stumbles back, an ecstatic grin on his face.

“There it is, boy, show me your fire.” Thoros cheers, clearly enjoying the match far more than anyone watching.

Jon moves quicker than you can blink, throwing his weight behind his sword and knocking the man flat, just as he had Joffrey all those moons ago. He holds Thoros at sword point, and the crowd erupts.

Robert calls out Jon’s victory cheerfully, and you see Lord Stark smiling as Robert claps him on the back.

Sansa sinks into her chair with a sigh of relief, but you cannot do the same, you rush forward, pressing yourself against the edge of the dais. Jon is your sworn sword, and your heart will not return to its place in your chest until you have seen he is whole.

“Lady Y/N.” Jon calls, his helmet in one hand, his curls wild, a grin born of victory on his handsome face as he approaches the dais, a crown of roses hanging from his sword.

“Ser Jon.” You smile, graciously accepting the crown from the tip of his sword. It is half a hand longer than a normal sword, something you found an odd request of his, but it serves him well.

Sansa helps you arrange the crown on your head, looking at it wistfully. “It is beautiful, and it suits you.”

“Perhaps for the next tourney I will forbid Jon from fighting and Theon can crown you.” You suggest smiling devilishly at the Greyjoy.

Theon makes a sound of protest, Sansa’s own interrupted by Jon’s appearance on the dais. He has not even cleaned himself off, and he sets his helmet down on the railing, barely having enough time to speak before your uncle calls him over.

“Ser Snow, come, let us toast to your victory.” He says, raising a full cup high, Thoros is with them, his own cup full, his smile bright and genuine as he waves Jon over.

Jon looks at you, and you shoo him towards the throne. He has grown taller and stronger, though he is less broad than some other knights, there is raw strength in his every move. He is quick too, evident by the very fact there is barely a scratch on him. He fought six men and all he has to show for it will be a small scar on his cheek and sore muscles in the morning.

Theon’s voice draws your attention away from Jon. “Sansa—”

“Lady Sansa.” She cuts him off.

He leans over and plucks the crown from your head, giving you a quick wink. “Lady Sansa. If you wished to be crowned my queen of love and beauty, you need only ask.” Theon says smoothly placing the crown on her head then giving her an elaborate bow.

Sansa freezes, her eyes darting to where Joffrey sits, his attention completely consumed by the archery competition. “Theon…”

“Though I dare say you are far more beautiful without that frilly crown.” He says, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger.

“I happen to like that frilly crown.” You interject, trying to hold back your laughter.

Theon can be quite humorous, his bawdy jokes and shameless manner often sending color rushing to Sansa’s cheeks.

“You have to win me this crown, Theon, that is how it works.” Sansa says, ripping the crown from her head and shoving it at Theon.

“And where is your queen, she must come celebrate with us.” Your uncle’s voice booms, carrying over to you, as you take your crown back from Theon.

He helps you adjust it as Sansa did and gives you a secret smile. “Promise you will keep Jon from fighting next time?”

You smile back. “I promise.”

“Y/N, come over here, the people wish to see you congratulate your champion.”

You pick up your skirts and hurry over to your uncle, who is already deep in his cups. Your aunt is watching him with an air of disgust veiled by wifely concern. “My King, do not embarrass the poor girl.”

Robert waves her off. “It is only proper; it was the reward I would receive from you when I would crown you my queen of love and beauty.”

You glance at your father, who is still seated. He inclines his head towards you. It is your decision, whatever your uncle is asking of you.

Jon shifts his weight, his skin sweat soaked and dusted with dirt, a mug of ale in his hand.

“Embarrass me?” You search your mind for whatever your aunt could be referring to, there were not many times your uncle would compete in tourneys, especially as he aged, the only reward you can remember him receiving…

Thoros slings an arm over Jon’s shoulder. “A kiss, you must bestow your champion a kiss.”

Your eyes widen and you glance around. Everyone is watching, even the crowd seems intent to see what the King will encourage next. They are chanting, you did not realize they were chanting for Jon, too wrapped up in your own thoughts.

“I—I am unwed, would it not be improper?” You ask, looking to your aunt for help.

“Robert, please she is only a child—”

“On the cheek then, there is no shame then, your father is here, I am here, there shall be no besmirching of your virtue.” Your uncle says, clapping his hands together with a tone of finality.

Series Masterlist here!

Jon Snow TL: @mostclevermiss, @solacestyles, @2valentines, @sharknutz

#meg's writing #jon snow x you #jon snow x reader #jon snow imagines #jon snow imagine #jon snow #lannister!reader

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annewithaneofthegreengable · 9 months ago

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Homecoming Daydream Part 2

Summary: With the power of Ferrari’s ghost, Enzo or whoever officiated me with a Charles Leclerc’s in Jesus’ form. I pronounce you, husband and wife.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x reader.

Genre: Romance, fluff and smut.

Author's note: This is a multiple-chapter Toto x Reader fanfic. Noted that English is not my mother tongue so there will be mistakes.

Part 1: Homecoming Daydream

Y/n hadn’t lied before. She wasn’t nervous about marrying Toto. Like at all.

At that moment, as she walked towards him, down the altar, she was overcome not by excitement but was overwhelmed with the sense of love. The sight of someone, and not just someone, he is, the man in her dream standing at the end of the aisle, patiently waiting for her. She felt like she must have been trapped in a dream, one that she silently prayed to never be woken up from. But as her tipped French nails poked into the palm of her hand, she realised that all these things were happening and they were indeed, 100% true. As she neared him, she could feel the nerves and butterflies disappear and be replaced by a warm feeling of peace and serenity. Like a homecoming. And she is indeed at home now and forevermore.

All she could do was focus on the heartbeat hammering away in her ears. Then, Toto’s warm hand wrapped around her own. Then, his face – his beautiful dark brown eyes so invitingly warm and intense, she felt caught in his gaze. Then, his gorgeous smile, told her just how happy he was. And slowly her heartbeat steadied, the deafening pulse quieted and she was gently grounded back into the moment with him. I am home, she thought.

And not a second too early, because as she caught Fred’s expectant gaze, she realized that they somehow must’ve gotten to the part where they would exchange their vows. Y/n cleared her throat. The words came so easily – because they were true.

“Toto. I must say this and I know it’s not a very romantic way to start a vow but I had a pretty much okay life before I met you.”

There was a low rumble of laughter in the crowd. Y/n smiled and took another deep breath before she continued.

“It’s not fantastic, just average like anyone else’s life out there can be, and I guess I was fine with it. With the thought of being a loner traveller in this lifetime. With the thought of never being the chosen one. Everything ate me up and made me believe it that way. Until I met you. I never expected to meet someone like you. I didn’t even think of someone like you to ever set foot in my life. Slowly, I get to know the beautiful person you are, inside and out. To be so lucky as to fall in love with you. I’ve found my new home, you – right here. And I couldn’t be more grateful to spend my life with you.”

She saw the moisture shimmering in his eyes and was sure that her own looked pretty similar. He smiled, before nodding at Fred and taking a deep breath.

“ Y/n, my life was pretty much like yours before I met you. Except for all the noise, the hustle lifestyle and the demands of everything in my life,... Too much that there were days I thought it was going to swallow me whole. That was until we came across. I didn’t know I could ever admire one’s eyes this much, and just hearing your laughter and being with you made me feel at home. You called me your home, Schatz. Well, you are mine, too. As you have given me your hands to hold, so I give you my life to hold from this day forward.”

Her heart beat steadily throughout his vows, but the tears that had been on the verge of slipping before now streamed freely down her face. There was nothing she could do about it. It was as though her love for this man poured out of her body because there was simply too much of it to be physically contained.

She was vaguely aware that Lewis stepped forward behind Toto and handed him something. Toto took the box and flipped it open, revealing two rings. Y/n gasped and swallowed an incredulous chuckle at the size of the diamond inside. Toto hadn’t proposed to her with an engagement ring, since he’d done it spontaneously one night, while they were still wrapped up in bed together. After, she’d told him not to get one, since she found a single wedding ring would more than suffice. Really, she should’ve expected that he would go above and beyond with it, knowing he would go feral in choosing her the perfect ring, with the biggest diamond, of course. He smirked at her reaction and picked the ring from the box, looking at Lewis expectantly. His friend chuckled.

“Okay, I feel kinda silly even asking after all of that, but here we go. Toto, do you Y/n to be your wife?”

“I do”, Toto answered, his voice even and earnest, despite his smile. Then he slid the ring in place and lifted her hand to his lips for a soft kiss.

“I love you” he whispered.

That steady pulse from before was replaced by a frantic gallop, her heart almost jumping out of her chest at the touch of his lips.

“And Y/n, do you take Grandpa Toto here to be your husband?”

There was another rumble of laughter from the audience, Toto however, acted as though he hadn’t even heard the quip, his eyes glued to her face, her lips. Waiting to hear her answer. As if he still couldn’t believe she’d agree. Silly old man.

“I do“, she said. Then she plucked the other ring from the box, a simple gold band, and took Toto’s hand.

“And I love you too,“ she whispered and slid the ring onto his finger.

They stood there and stared at each other, both smiling and silently crying, until Fred cleared his throat and even his voice sounded suspiciously tight with emotion.

“Well, then with the power of Ferrari’s ghost, Enzo or whoever officiated me with a Charles Leclerc’s in Jesus’ form. I pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss your wife now, Wolff.”

And then just only waiting for that moment, her husband did what he was said to do.

Everyone cheered, as Toto released Y/n just slightly, still holding her in his arms, as she grinned up at him. „Hey husband“, she whispered.

His heart felt like it had grown three sizes.

„Hey wife“, he answered, with a smile so wide it actually hurt.

The music turned up in the background and people jumped out of their chairs, charging towards them for hugs and kisses. Lewis was first since he stood right next to them. He clapped Toto on the back before twirling Y/n into one of his bear hugs, making her laugh as he lifted her off the ground.

“Welcome to the fam, Mrs. Wolff or you prefer it as Mrs. Mercedes. Thank you for saving us from the wrath of him smashing another pair of Bose’s headphones.”

“I’m more than happy too,” she answered with a wink towards Toto.

Y/n’s friends and family were another matter, alternately sobbing blended with screaming here and there (happy scream, of course) as they essentially pried her from his hands. She looked over her shoulder at him and gave a little shrug while rolling her eyes, before trying to calm everyone down. As dramatic as them all, she felt whole with them here today.

Half an hour later, most of the crying was done, and people had started mingling and dancing. And Y/n was finally back at his side, as he pulled her out onto the dancefloor for their first dance as wife and husband.

„I missed you“, she murmured, sighing happily as she leaned into him, slowly swaying from side to side.

He grinned.

„I missed you too, sweetheart. Almost broke that stupid rule and came to see you last night, but they almost sent a missing report so I pretty much couldn’t pull the trick of meeting at a secret place like Romeo and Juliet.“

“You want us to die. That’s not what I imagine a happily ever after ending is about, Toto. Did I just marry a crazy, old man?”

“You did not say that.” He said, completely serious.

“Is that so?”

“Just so you know, wifey. This crazy, old man here fully intended to fuck you tonight. you look so perfect in this dress. Makes me wanna fucking ruin you.”

She tilted her head as though she was weighing her options with a flushed face.

“Hmm. That’s the kind of crazy I can handle. And you also aged just fine, husband. Also, you've already ruined me. I can't go five minutes without thinking about your hands on me, our bodies intertwined.”

Toto cursed quietly, already feeling himself harden in his suit. Not an ideal situation, with everyone watching them spin around in slow circles on the dance floor.

“Oh, Schatz, you can’t say this in public without expecting me to get all hard up.”

Y/n hummed quietly and leaned closer, sliding her hand down his back and pressing her soft body against his torso.

“Rewards come to those whose patience, husband of mine. I promise you there will present for you to open tonight.”

After making the rounds, taking turns dancing with their friends and family, posing for photos and indulging in the food, Toto's patience was running thin. Although surrounded by family and beloved friends, Toto felt increasingly impatient. The wedding felt like an eternity and a huge distraction from the real reason they were all there: to witness Toto and his bride say "I do." He now started to wonder where his wife had gone since she disappeared 15 minutes ago.

“Have you guys seen my wife?” Toto asked Lewis, Sebastian and George.

“You really enjoy saying that, huh?“ George teased.

“I think she went upstairs to freshen up, maybe,” Lewis said.

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pastrydragon · 1 year ago

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The BG3 Beef I wanna see shitpost

While I do love the idea of Tav/Astarion/Karlach/whoever getting more unique mean dialogue with Ulder Ravengard, especially when he has the audacity to take up space in your camp like that instead of someone cooler like Barcus or that one bullied hyena, I want very specific flavor text that you'd only get in the epilogue party if you pick a specific ending even more.

I think if you romance Wyll as Gale or Gale as Wyll and then you don't go to Avernus, I think it would be totally galaxy brain to have dialogue in the epilogue that reveals Ulder Ravengard and Morena Dekarios fucking DESPISE one another. Because they absolutely would.

We never get to meet Morena in game but you can tell from what Gale and Tara say about her and Gale's... Galeness that she is at least a part time passenger on the "Fuck you my child is fine" train. Her sweet little boy? Commit evil deeds? Never! There has obviously been a mistake. I mean she indulged that "Gale Of Waterdeep" nonsense and when Gale summoned a full on Tressym after being explicitly denied a kitten as a child, she just let him keep her. No repercussions.

And then her sweet boy brings home another sweet boy who is probably EXACTLY what she pictured Gale's partner should be like.(Because Wyll is the damn blueprint for "Guy you could bring home to mom") Wyll is ridiculously sweet to Gale, he's the perfect gentleman, he's very open to the idea of giving Morena the grandchildren she's been nagging Gale about in the very near future. Pinch her, she must be dreaming!

I cannot imagine her reacting to Wyll's backstory with any amount of empathy towards Ulder, obviously that man is a cruel psychopath to throw poor Wyll out like that after "a tiny misunderstanding" and Wyll is just too good of a son not to see it. Which is partially true, Wyll is definitely still in some kind of denial stage over what his father did but that's not the point of the post.

Then there's Ulder who probably thinks Gale is... Fine. He's not someone he ever would have pictured for Wyll. Gale is a babbling oddball, he has chronic foot-in-mouth disease and has only ever met the pointy end of a sword. But he can't say anything because Gale saved him, his son, and Bulder's gate, and a small army of tieflings, and apparently a bunch of mushroom people and blah blah more reasons he can never have the moral high ground blah. He's undeniably stuck with this fucking wizard, and his nightmare of a mother.

Morena firmly believes that since the Ravengard manor is technically Wyll's now, then it's also Gale's and thus is now hers as well. When I say she would walk through the doors like she owned the place I mean it very literally. Where did Ulder's old helmet display go? "They were rusty and it was ruining the wooden shelves, besides these enchanted swords go better with the new drapes we had to get, I don't know how you didn't notice how moth eaten they were getting." Everyday he wakes up and something about his own damn home has been changed to make it look more like a wizard tower. She doesn't even live here most of the time!

And it doesn't stop there, not at all. No this women has to make sure his son doesn't live there full time either. Every holiday and birthday she has to send Gale a letter about how much she misses him and you should visit so you can take a break from all that(Very important!) work and how she already has the venison just for Wyll.

And every time he's forced to interact with this harpy she looks at him with a sweet smile on her face, honey in her voice and the burning hatred of a thousand suns in her eyes then somehow managed to insult him five times in one sentence without ever explicitly insulting him. This women is a devil from Avernus sent to punish him for his sins and she's even won over the grandkids. Obviously that women is a manipulative psychopath for using her control over Gale to manipulate his son. Which, yeah Gale not being able to say no to his mom has contributed greatly to this and if Wyll knew what healthy boundaries looked like he probably wouldn't have put up with it but he doesn't so here we are.

Let these two be the Tom and Jerry style B plot to BG4 is what I'm saying.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 gale #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #ulder ravengard #morena dekarios #gale x wyll #I don't know their ship name #I only ship it for the family drama #Astarion can also fill this role as Wyll's SO but this is funnier to me #bladeweave #thank you dromaeocore for telling me!

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hayakawalove · 9 months ago

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Wisteria and Ciabatta

Part Two

Summary: Traveling merchant Suguru has led a relatively tame life thus far. Growing his flowers, baking his bread. One day, when he ventures out further than normal he comes across something more beautiful than all the flowers in the world. You.

A/N: I'm not really sure where this came from. I don't expect it to get a huge reaction, just because it's like way niche. But I couldn't get this out of my head. I am like pretty certain there will be a part two with smut, but this first chapter is just very sweet. This chapter can be read alone, you won't need to read the next one if you don't want to. Suguru is a loserboy in this but I like him that way. Enjoy!

CW: SFW, food, fluff

W/C: 5,608

The forest was quieter than usual today, he couldn’t help but notice. Suguru had become well acquainted with the sounds of the forest over the years. He traversed them for work often, always traveling from town to town to sell his flowers and bread. Flowers from his own backyard, and bread made to perfection from his own two hands. He enjoyed the way people's faces lit up when they saw the beautiful flora or when the food passed their lips. Suguru had to go out of his way today, venturing out further than normal. He didn’t sell as much as he wanted to in the towns near his home, so he figured he may as well see if anyone else would be interested.

Lavender, Hydrangea, Yarrow.

Suguru ran the list through his mind repeatedly. The basket he carried beside him held heaps of flowers, all trimmed to perfection. Along with the flowers he had several loaves of bread.

Dutch, Rye, French.

His footsteps slow when he notices a cluster of homes come into view. It was a small town, one he had never been to before. There couldn’t have been more than 50 buildings, but they were all full evident by the smoke rising from each chimney. His feet fall onto the stone path as he makes his way to the first house. When he knocks, he plasters a smile on his face. He had danced this routine many times before, always donning a careful mask when interacting with potential customers.

“Hello?” An old man opens the door carefully. He must have been twice as short as Suguru.

“Hello, I’m selling flowers and bread. Would you be interested in buying any?”

The man opens his mouth to decline when a woman’s voice sounds out behind him.

“Who is that?”

She hobbles into view, situating herself beside what Suguru can only assume is her husband.

“This fellow is selling flowers and bread, I was just going to-“

“You never buy me flowers anymore!”

Suguru averts his gaze, training them on the floor below. He doesn’t mind being there while they argue, but he’s learned that an unwanted ear can make people uncomfortable.

The old man grumbles before walking away further into the house to grab his money. Suguru can feel her eyes wandering over him. He digs his hand into his basket and produces a Hydrangea.

“On the house.” He speaks quietly, winking at her.

Her face flushes as she takes the flower, admiring the color. Her husband comes back and counts his cash before handing it to Suguru who doesn’t bother counting it. He grabs a heap of flowers, all three types tossed in, before handing them to the man.

“Thank you, sir.” Suguru smiles before stepping back, watching him give the flowers to his wife.

An adorable moment by nature. It almost feels too vulnerable to see the look of love on the old woman’s face as she receives the gift.

Suguru continues on to the next house, selling flowers and bread as he goes. He went to every house in town until there was only one remaining.

He walks up to the dwelling, knocking on the door and waits patiently for whoever’s living there.

The door opens, your body standing there.

If you asked Suguru a day ago what he thought the most beautiful thing was he would say a dicentra or maybe even tulips. That was before he saw you. Your cheeks like petals, soft and plump. You also had eyes that shined brighter than the early morning dew that clung to his garden. You were magnificent. You were the most beautiful flower he had ever seen.

“Hello?”

Suguru never found himself speechless. Throughout his life he had found himself in a multitude of situations that would warrant it, but he wasn’t, not even once. He had trained himself on how to smile and talk to people, he prided himself on it. No one was too hard to talk to.

Until he met you.

His lips refused to cooperate with him, throat muddled up. You look up at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something.

“I’m selling homemade bread and flowers.”

Idiot.

That’s what he decided to say? Not even a proper hello first?

“Oh, lovely. I was hoping to make something for dinner but didn’t have anything around the house. How much for the bread?” You ask, digging in your pocket for money.

Suguru tears his eyes from you, a painful task, and opens his basket. Most of his inventory was gone. He did have a loaf of Dutch bread at the bottom of the basket, the sight of it mocking him. He couldn’t give you that. It was no longer fresh, and it was cold to the touch. He couldn’t give you it.

You pull out your hand, palm cupped with money.

“I’m out of bread.” He finds himself saying.

Your brow raises. A beat passes before you speak.

“Okay, what about flowers?”

He wordlessly thanks your graciousness. In his basket he finds two Yarrows. All of his flowers were beautiful, but he found himself cursing God for not making anything more beautiful.

Suguru holds them up to you, fighting back a whimper when your hand grazes him as you pluck the stems from his grasp.

“How much?”

“You don’t have to pay.”

He would never force you to pay for anything, especially not something that could never rival your beauty.

He watches your lips slowly morph into a smile.

“You’re an interesting merchant.”

He’s sure you’re making fun of him, but he doesn’t care. His cheeks feel hot as he looks into your eyes.

“I was planning on visiting this village again tomorrow, I will bring more bread then.”

He wasn’t planning on visiting this village again until now. It had been a random stop he never was going to make again.

Your eyes flit down to the Yarrow, admiring them.

“You know where to find me.”

~~~

Suguru’s feet hurt when he finally arrives back home. He wants to go to bed but he can’t. Not when he needs to make bread for you. Usually he had extra dough laying around, but he didn’t. Even if he did, he would’ve preferred to make it fresh. He works tirelessly as he prepares the dough, pouring all his love into it. Flour cakes under his fingernails, his palms hurting from kneading the dough for so long.

He wouldn’t dream of complaining. Not when he knew who this was for. He didn’t even catch your name. Once he knew it, he would spell it in the stars so everyone did too.

Suguru barely gets any sleep. It was a concoction of baking and nerves. His house smells like bread while he walks around, preparing for his long journey ahead. He searched in his kitchen before finding a small jar of homemade strawberry jam. One of his neighbors, a kind elderly widow, had made it for him. They often traded breads and jams, occasionally sharing them outside when the weather was right.

Once everything was ready, he placed it all in his basket before setting off into the forest again.

The walk was way faster than he remembered it being. His mind was too clouded with thoughts of you. He enters the town, making his way directly to your house first thing. He wasn’t even really sure if he was going to go to the other houses after.

The door rattles with his fist, and he wills the butterflies going off in his body to settle down.

If he had at all been worried your beauty was a fluke, which he wasn’t, his worries certainly died down the moment he looked at you for a second time.

You’re just as beautiful the second time around as you were the first.

Your chest was heaving with sweat lining your forehead. You must’ve been hard at work. Doing what, he wondered?

“It’s you.”

“It’s me.” He responds with a smile. “Much more prepared this time, I’m sorry.” He doesn’t want to tell you he stayed up until the sun rose to prepare your bread.

A sly grin breaks across your face. You lean against the door frame, your eyes sliding down his figure. Suguru can feel his skin tingling with each inch your eyes covered.

“What have you brought for me today?”

Suguru holds up his basket and reveals the fresh bread. It was a simple loaf of wheat bread, and although it was basic, it was renowned as his best selling one. He feels his heart flutter the second the scent reaches your nose, your face lightening up.

“That smells wonderful.”

“Tastes wonderful too, or so I’ve been told.”

You open the door a bit more, revealing the rest of the house behind you. It was humble, an aboad that was probably common in these parts of town.

“Why don’t you come in and share it with me?”

The offer stops Suguru in his tracks. Out of all the things you could have said to him, he wasn’t expecting that.

The first thought that crosses his mind is flattery. You want to eat with him?

The second feeling that follows after is worry. You want to eat with him, and he’s a stranger.

“You hardly know me.” He speaks.

The idea that you would open your door to just anyone frightened him a bit. What if it was someone with bad intentions?

“What’s your name?”

You don’t look afraid, even though Suguru feels you should be.

“Suguru.”

You toss his name across your brain several times. You say your name back and step away, letting him come in.

“Now you know my name and I know yours. Share it with me?”

He's touched by your kindness, but still mildly unnerved at the idea you might do this for someone with unsavory motives.

It’s hard to refuse your offer, so he finds himself stepping in after you. The close proximity whisks his breath away but you hardly notice. You don’t even spare him a glance as you head over to your table.

You sit down and look up at him, waiting for him to join you. He places the basket on the table before rummaging around, pulling the loaf out.

“I also brought more flowers, in case you were interested.”

“Will you let me pay this time?”

“Maybe.” No, he wouldn’t.

Suguru didn’t need any form of payment. As long as he got to see the joy on your face again, that was all he needed.

You grab a knife and begin to slide through the loaf, slicing several pieces for the two of you. He wondered if you were able to tell he made the bread fresh for you. Did the warmth of it tingle your fingers? Could you feel the love that seeped from it?

Suguru pulls out the jam and sets it aside.

“What’s that?” You ask.

“My neighbor made it. It’s strawberry.”

You pick up the jar, eyes gliding across the glass in amazement.

“Where do you live? The people in this town don’t bake bread or make jam. Maybe I should move to your town.” You joke.

Don’t say that, he thinks. If you say that, he might beg you to.

He hardly knows you, yet he’s finding himself completely entranced by you. He aches to learn more.

“A town further South. A couple hours at most.” He keeps his eyes trained down on your hands, watching as you spread the jam on the bread.

Only when the silence stretches on for too long does he rip his eyes from your fingers, looking up.

He doesn’t know whether he should be startled or not at the face you’re making. Your eyes are open wide, like you’re looking through him.

“Hours?” You repeat.

Suguru nods, his brows raising.

“I didn’t see a horse.”

“I walked.”

You stutter a bit before placing the knife down, pushing the plate in the middle of the table. Suguru’s eyes drift down, the intimacy of sharing a dish not lost on him.

“I could never walk that long.” You murmur, picking up a piece of bread, raising it to your lips.

Suguru tries not to stare at the way your lips part, but it’s difficult.

“It’s not that bad.” He pulls his piece up to him, taking a bite.

“Not everyone has such long legs.” You say around the food.

Suguru’s mouth perks up, a smile gracing his features. He was used to people commenting on his height, but he felt an extra ounce of pride when you were the one saying it.

You mumble around the food, hand flying up to cover your mouth.

“Suguru, this is wonderful!” Excitement seeps from your words and Suguru’s heart jumps.

“Thank you.” He dips his head down, suddenly bashful.

The two of you share the meal, words flowing flawlessly between you.

“It’s a shame that my father isn’t here, I’m sure he would love this as much as I do.” You comment.

Suguru leans back, not sure if this is a touchy subject.

“He’s just out of town today, I’ll share some with him when he comes back. Maybe.” You smirk.

“What does he do for work?”

“He helps people get their farms up and running. I think he traveled to help a young couple get theirs set up.”

Suguru begins to daydream about owning a farm with you. Would you adore his flowers as much as he did? Would you let him do all the work? He wouldn’t mind it, he preferred it.

He knew he was getting ahead of himself, but he couldn’t help the infatuation that grew in his heart.

Besides, Suguru never was one to love normally or calmly.

“I was trying to clean the house before he returns, but I must admit I’m having a hard time reaching things.”

“Would you allow me to help? I’ve got long legs, you know.”

A song floats over to his ears, a song built on your laughter. He could get used to that.

“I couldn’t make you do that. I already dragged you inside to eat with me. I’m sure you have much more important things to be doing.”

Never, he thinks. Nothing would be more important than this.

“It’s okay.” He says plainly.

He watches as you seem to be debating inside your head. You give up, standing up to carry the dishes to the sink.

“I would love help changing out the candles.” You say sheepishly.

Suguru waits as you leave to go find the extra candles, his head racing with thoughts. After you finished, there would be no reason for him to stay. He would have to go back home. He wanted to stay and talk with you more. Your words facisnated him. He felt like a child, the way he longed to hear you tell him stories. He didn’t want to go home. Not when being with you felt more like home than his own ever did.

“I found them.” You speak, snapping him out of it.

You guide him around the house, showing him every spot that needed a new candle.

It should be a simple task for him. He finds it increasingly difficult, however. He feels your eyes bore into him each time he reaches up, making his heart pound. Even though it’s easy to do, he’s just replacing old candles, he almost feels like he’s never done anything so hard before. He can feel the way your eyes track his movement, almost making it impossible to focus. His linen shirt suddenly feels too hot, as he tries to keep his eyes on his hands.

“There, how does that look?”

You stare at the metal candle holder for a minute before nodding, a soft hum coming from your lips.

“It looks wonderful, Suguru.”

He decides no one has ever said his name as beautifully as you do.

He steps back, following you towards the kitchen. He can tell that he needs to leave, but a small part of him is upset at that fact.

“Will you be in town anytime soon? I’d love to purchase more bread, if that’s alright.” You stare at him as he gathers his things.

He nods, and looks down at you.

“I can come back in several days.”

“Fantastic, I’ll be looking forward to it.” You say happily.

So will I, Suguru thinks.

~~~

Suguru leans back, watching you chew a new recipe he tried for bread. So far, so good, he thinks. Your lips are played in a smile as you taste it, swallowing it with a sigh.

“I don't think you can make something bad.”

“Is that a challenge?” Suguru jokes.

“One you’d fail, I’m sure.”

Your flattery causes his heart to race, a throb settling deep in his chest.

“I wish I could bake like you.” You say.

“I could teach you, if you’d like. It isn’t that hard.”

Your eyes flash with excitement and Suguru has to swallow the knot that forms in his throat.

“You can?”

Yes, anything for you.

“Sure. I can bring the ingredients tomorrow.”

You jump up and down in your seat, chattering away to him about all that you want to do with the bread. Are you aware of how you make his stomach twist? He thinks there’s no way you are.

~~~

When Suguru comes the next morning he has a burlap sack filled to the brim with ingredients, all for your bread. You open the door the second he knocks it, taking him by surprise.

“I apologize, I didn’t sleep much last night.” You say all giddy, opening up the door more.

Suguru steps inside and follows you to your table. You already have it set up according to how he told you. There’s bowls and spoons, all perfectly set. His hair is already tied back, so all he needs to do is roll up his sleeves.

He stands next to you, reading out what ingredients to add next. He watches over your shoulder as you eagerly mix, chuckling to himself when some of it spills out the sides.

“Slowly, sweetheart.” He murmurs.

You apologize quietly, following his order of slowing your hand down.

It was looking good, but now was the time to start getting your hands dirty.

“The next step is to knead it. You do this by placing it on the table, and pressing your hands into it.” Suguru explains, watching you scrap the bowl and plop the dough in front of you.

“Mmm like this?” You ask, folding it over itself.

“Just like that, a little more pressure.” He adds.

Without even thinking, he reaches his arms on either side of you, correcting your form to knead it harder. His hands hover over yours, pressing your palms down more against the plush dough.

“You have big hands.” You chuckle, and suddenly Suguru’s aware of what he’s doing.

“Oh, my bad. I shouldn’t have-“

“No, it’s okay. You should keep your hands there, so I don't mess up.” You correct him.

You turn your head over your shoulder, looking at him. His face is unbearingly close to yours, heat from your cheeks radiating off and scorching his face. He looks deep into your eyes before you’re quickly looking back down, watching the bread below your hands.

Suguru berates his heart as he helps you, hoping it slows down. That moment with you kept repeating in his mind, over and over again.

He snaps out of it when you squeal, pulling the bread from the oven. The top of it is perfectly golden, the smell of it filling your tiny kitchen.

“Look, Suguru!” You say, placing it down.

He looks over the top of your head and smiles.

“It looks good, let’s wait for it to cool before we try it.”

He would have liked to wait a little longer, afraid it would burn your tongue, but he couldn’t say no with the way you were tilting back and forth, begging to cut into it. Suguru takes the liberty, pouring the bread from the pan before sliding a knife down the side of it. It cuts smoother than butter, steam wafting up from it.

“Okay, let’s try it.” Suguru raises a small piece, holding it in his hand as he lifts it to your mouth.

The heat soaks into the pads of his finger tips, but he’d much rather get burned than you. You look down and blow on the bread, Suguru has to force himself not to gasp at the air caressing his skin. You look up at him and take a bite, smiling as crumbs dust your lips.

“It’s so good!” You murmur around the mouth full of food.

Suguru uses his other hand to lift up a separate piece, taking a slight nibble. It was fantastic. Sweeter than the bread he made, he wondered if that was just because you were the one who created it.

“You may put me out of business.” He jokes.

You pull your piece from his hand, holding it tightly next to your face. A shame, he thinks. He would’ve preferred for you to keep eating from his palm. Did that say something about him?

“I might, you better watch over your back.” You say, eating the rest of your bread with a grin.

“I will.” Suguru says back, treasuring the way the food melts on his tongue.

~~~

“Hey Suguru?”

The two of you have settled into a comfortable routine, as he had visited a couple of more times, always sitting in your kitchen to share a plate of bread with you.

He flicks his eyes up to you before looking back down.

“Is the forest dangerous?” You finish.

Suguru takes a moment to think. He’s never thought about it before. His feet have carried him through the trees for countless years.

“Not really. The only thing you have to look out for is bandits.”

He takes a moment to appreciate the way you’re gaping at him.

“I’ve never seen any though. Just know they’re out there.”

“They’d be a fool to try to rob you.” You mutter under your breath.

Suguru lets out a quiet chuckle. Any reason to point out his height, you’d take it.

“As children we’re warned not to go in too deep.” You mumble.

“I can bring you if you like? They have some Gardenia’s there, not too deep in. We can go and get them if you want?”

“You’d keep me safe from bandits?”

Yes, you don’t even have to ask. He’d go toe to toe for you.

“Of course.”

The more he got to know you, the more Suguru grew to like you, really like you. It was no longer infatuation, it grew into something more beautiful and large.

He notices you dip your head down at the tone of his soft voice. You have a few habits he’s picked up on. One of them is every reaction you have to his words. You like to poke and prod him, but the second he pushes back or uses a specific tone you look away, teeth nibbling on your lip. It’s adorable, he thinks.

~~~

You both decide to go to the forest tomorrow. He decides to stay in your town overnight because there would be no point in making the long trek back to his only to come back tomorrow morning. You offered a bed in your house, knowing your father would not have it, but Suguru declined. It would be improper, he told you. He had never felt his body fight so hard against him before. Even though it’s hard for him to say no, he doesn’t relent. He ends up staying at the only Inn in town. It was a normal house, with five extra rooms spread out. His host was a sweet older woman who insisted on helping carry his bags to his room. The act pained him, but he knew better than to tell a woman no.

As he lay in bed that night he stared up at the ceiling, thoughts of you curling around his mind.

You were here, in this town.

Suguru wakes up earlier than you do. His eyes crack open the second the sun shines through, his body restless. There was so much to show you, he didn’t know where to begin. Along with that, he felt the early onsets of fear begin to take hold. He had never thought about bandits before, but now that you mention it he couldn’t shake the idea. What if there were some when you went out? He wasn’t afraid of taking care of you. He knew he could do that. He just didn’t want you to see something ugly. He feared he would never forgive himself.

Suguru walks to your house, stopping a short ways away outside to linger near a bunch of trees. He didn’t want to intrude, and he had no idea what you’ve told your father about your relationship with him.

What was your relationship with him?

Friendly, he thought. You had always welcomed him with a smile. However there were lingering touches and stolen glances over fresh bread, conversations floating across your tongues easily. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. There was a chance you thought nothing of him, treating him as you would anyone else.

“Suguru!”

His head shoots up the second his name falls from your lips.

“I apologize for making you wait.” You say, stopping short in front of him.

You look like you got together hastily, sleep marks imbedded in your flesh with several of your hairs out of place.

Did you know how perfect you were?

“I wasn’t waiting long, are you ready to go?”

Suguru smiles at the excitement spreading across your face. He knew the flowers were in bloom, but he wasn’t sure they could rival you.

As the two of you walk, you take careful calculated steps as you notice the weather. It was sunny without being too temperamental. You could hear laughter of the village children carrying over the wind to you. Suguru listened to you as you rattled on, occasionally dropping his input, but he much preferred to listen.

When the trees started to get thicker Suguru noticed you start to walk closer to him. It was cute, the way you looked towards him for shelter and protection.

“I think this is where I saw them last time.” Suguru says aloud, stopping to the side and looking around.

“They’re bright red, so they're easy to spot.”

He sees excitement curl in your eyes at the prospect of finding some hidden treasure, even if that treasure was just flowers.

Suguru locates them after several minutes, grabbing your hand and leading you towards it. There were several bushes laid together, all of them overflowing with the red petals.

He smiles to himself at the gasp you let out, your fingers tentatively reaching forward to kiss the leaves.

“Pretty, right? I always think about taking some home with me so I can plant them but I can never bring myself to do it. They look much better out here anyhow.”

Suguru sits next to you as you stare at the bush. He finds it cute that you’re interested in his interests. If you asked, he would tell you anything you wanted to know about plants or baking. Suguru wasn’t an expert in everything, but he was an expert in those.

“Suguru, thank you for showing me these.” Your voice trails off, still focused on what was in front of you.

He smiles and picks a red Gardenia, careful placing it behind your ear.

“Anytime.”

Your hand trembles as you reach up to touch the flower on your ear. The forest was silent, save for the sounds of birds and bugs, complete serenity falling over you.

The only way Suguru’s able to tell that time is passing is by the view of the sun, now completely overhead, shining through the canopy of trees around you. Neither of you wanted to leave, so instead you lay on your backs, looking at the trees above you. The leaves and sun paint beautiful pictures, yellow shapes being shined upon your skin.

“Hey Suguru?”

Suguru hums, turning his head to the side to look at you.

Your arm is outstretched, holding the flower he gave you in front of you. Your fingers are twirling it around, spinning the flower over and over. Suguru’s dizzy at the sight, but he can’t tell if it’s because of your beauty or the the spinning.

“They say flowers have a language of their own, don't they?”

Suguru’s lashes flit as he memorizes the lines on your face, wanting to capture this moment.

“They do.”

“Do you know the meanings of flowers?”

“Some of them.”

Suguru sits up and pulls the tie from his hair, letting the black silk cacoon him. He looks over his shoulder back at you, but you’re too preoccupied with the sight of the twirling.

“What does this one mean?”

Suguru ponders for a moment, unsure whether or not he should tell you. Would it come off too strong? He couldn’t bare the thought of lying to you though. He’s a strong man so he fights the urge to look away from you when he says,

“Secret love.”

He swears the forest ceases all sound at that moment, that or the beating of his heart is far louder than anything else.

“Is that so?” You ask, peeking around the bright flower to look at him.

He hums, waiting to see if you would have a negative reaction. Would you get up and leave him here, never to allow him back into your home? He wouldn’t blame you.

A demure smile spreads across your face, sitting up until you’re laying on your elbow. You bring the flower to your face, taking in a deep breath before you sit up completely. Suguru tracks your movements carefully.

“In that case,” you say, sliding the flower behind Suguru’s ear, the bright pop of red constrasting with his dark hair.

Suguru swears his heart stops beating in that moment, his body completely rigid with surprise. You knew the meaning of the flower, and you were giving it to him?

A silent understanding flows between you two, Suguru no longer on edge as the seconds pass. You both are aware now, your feelings as out in the open as they could be without physically saying it. It was funny, the flower meant secret love but his admiration for you was no longer a secret.

“It’s a shame we can’t stay out here forever.” You say.

You lay back down, closing your eyes.

Suguru silently agrees, leaning back until he’s laying next to you, much closer this time. He wonders what’s going to happen next. Would he be able to court you properly, would your father accept him?

He hears you shuffle around before your face pops into view, blocking out the sun above him. His brows raise in surprise as he looks at you. You looked nothing short of an Angel, golden light haloing around your head as you smile down at him.

“I know you’re busy where you live, but why don't we meet in this forest once a week?” You say.

“Or I can walk down and meet you closer to your village, that might be easier.”

No, he couldn’t handle the idea of you walking these forests alone, or walking that long at all.

“Let’s meet here.” Suguru agrees, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek.

Neither of you want to be the one to look away first. So instead, you just continue to gaze into the others eyes.

Suguru hears an older man call your name just outside the sanctity of the forest. It must be your father, and by the sounds of it he was angry. Probably upset that dinner hadn’t been made yet, if Suguru had to come up with a reason. He didn’t want to dislike your father, after all he had a hand in creating you, but he didn’t appreciate the way he treated you.

“I suppose I’ll have to leave now…” you trail off, your voice caked in sadness.

Suguru’s grip on your cheek tightens, and he resolves to do something he’s never done before, yet dreamed of countless times.

He sits up and leans in, his lips ghosting yours.

“Suguru…” You whisper, looking into his eyes, the movement of your lips tickling his.

“May I?” Just this once, he wants to beg. Let me taste you just this once.

He waits for an answer that doesn’t come. Instead, you’re meeting him halfway, kissing him softly. It was everything he had dreamed of. Your lips were soft, the lingering taste of the sweet strawberry jam he always brought to you mingling with his own.

If only he could stop time.

If only nothing existed but the two of you.

As soon as it starts, it’s over. You’re pulling away, your eyes flickering open to look at him. He can hardly breathe under your gaze. His fingers itch with the need to grab you, press you against him, show the love he’s been feeling all this time but has been too afraid to say aloud.

Suguru’s lips tingle as he watches you slowly rise to your feet. You dip your head in acknowledgment, tossing over your shoulder.

“Coming, father!”

Stay, he thinks. Stay.

“Goodbye Suguru.” You murmur, giving him a smile.

He watches you scamper out of the forest, feeling like you took his heart with you.

He isn’t sure he’s ever going to want it back.

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tacticaldiary · 1 year ago

Note

I just recently found your blog and am in love with everything about it You are a very talented writer and I look forward to your post so I was wondering what you think it would be like sharing a bed with ghost

I Swear I Asked For Two

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

Genre: Fluff; The Classic 'One-Bed' Trope

She freezes when he turns with her, a strong arm banding around her middle, holding her in place. "You gonna make me hold you in place?"

Bless whoever's up there for the dark because her face is burning.

"Would love that, actually." She mutters to herself before she can reign the impulsiveness in.

Masterlist

"Don't hurt me." Raises her hands in surrender, taking an exaggerated step away from him as the door to their room clicks shut behind them. "I swear I asked for two."

Ghost, bloody and dirty and exhausted, runs a hand down his balaclava-covered face, dropping his bag somewhere near the wall behind him. "Better than the floor." Is all he manages.

Once she's sure she's not in any mortal danger, she shoves back her bag next to him and kneels down, rifling through it. "Wash up first, L.T. I'll go after." There's no response but he must agree because he goes off wordlessly, a testament to how he must be just as exhausted as she was.

12 days. 12 days they had been trekking through this rural town trying to track down a target. The man had infiltrated their chain of command and had been feeding crucial information to the enemy for over a month, information that had led to quite a few of their operations being compromised. Needless to say, once he was found out he had ran in the middle of the night.

A slippery bastard.

Long stretches of land, a lot of camping out and surveying the area. Days and days of hunting this man until he was finally caught. Secured with the unit that had been traveling with them, they'd relinquished their target and been ordered to wait for exfil the next day.

Until then...well, this shady motel would have to do for the night.

They're lucky they were near a town and not in one of the long stretches between them, that much she's grateful for. Even if she didn't completely trust the room's ceiling to cave in while they were sleeping.

Stains on the walls she doesn't want to think about, cracks in the ceiling, and of course, the one queen sized bed pushed back to the far wall.

The bed.

Truthfully she doesn't know how she managed to keep her voice steady before. Her stomach was rolling at the thought of having to share a bed with him. With Ghost. With Simon.

He was...well, she thought he was extraordinary. Capable, brave, and funny in his own way. It hadn't taken long for her to develop some sort of a crush on him.

And now she was supposed to bunk down for a night with him? On that bed? Alone?

She shakes her head, focusing on rifling through her pack to find a spare set of clothes. They'd slept in worse conditions before, this was no big deal.

No big deal at all.

She curses as she finds her other pair of clothes filthy, mud staining the fabric. She'd forgotten about how she had to use them already after an unsavoury encounter with one of the locals.

"Something wrong?" She jumps at the deep voice, head snapping up to see him.

His hands are stripped of his gloves, his tactical vest off and away. A soft t-shirt takes its place, along with sweatpants that she has to make a conscious effort to tear her gaze away from.

This simply wasn't fair. It's like he's making this whole situation ten times harder for her on purpose.

"Negative." She says instead, standing up. "I'll have to make do with these clothes, forgot my spares were filthy." He studies her in that silent way for a beat, before he leans down and rummages through his pack.

Leaving him to do whatever, she pushes open the bathroom door while wondering how quickly her clothes would dry if she ran them under the tap-

"Here."

Ghost holds out a spare shirt to her. Plain black.

His.

"What?" It takes a second for her mind to catch up.

He cocks an eyebrow. "You're filthy. I'd rather not sleep next to someone who smells like shit."

The insult draws an indignant bark of a laugh from her, "I don't stink." She exclaims, snatching the shirt from his grip. "Not as bad as you do."

"Tell yourself that." He deadpans, but she swears she can see a hint of an amused smirk beneath his mask when she slams the door in his face.

Muttering to herself, she cleans up before slipping the shirt on. It's obviously large on her, just skimming the bottom of her thighs. It smells like him, something so distinct and familiar it makes her relax on instinct.

It's a wonder what good a hot shower can do for you.

Ghost is already stretched out on the mattress when she emerges from the room. He spares her a glance, and she visibly sees something like muted interest snap into his eyes even despite his lack of words.

She'd be lying if something in her doesn't preen at the way his eyes subtly follow her across the room.

Neither of them exchange a word as she slips into the covers next to him. Both of them barely fit on the mattress, but neither having the energy to complain. They don't brush against each other but if she shifted they'd definitely touch.

The room was secure, they'd done a thorough sweep and checked the doors and window, all the locks and for cameras. Nothing of interest, so they allowed themselves to let their guard down.

"Sharp 05:00 tomorrow, Sergeant." He says into the dark.

"Copy." She stifles a yawn and they fall into silence.

His heat is unbearable. She can't push the thought out of his mind, the knowledge that he's right there, a fingertip's distance away. She can hear his steady, quiet breath, almost taunting her.

Despite her exhaustion, she stays awake, turning onto her side away from him hoping that the movement would dislodge the thought from her mind. She needed sleep, needed to relax but isn't that impossible with how all she needs to do is lean back a little to touch him-

She huffs silently, turns onto her back again, rustling the sheets.

No, this was bad. Her body's tired but her mind and heart are racing. Traitors.

She shifts onto her side again-

"Fucking hell, will you stay still?" He rumbles, startling her. The gravelly, tired voice shoots straight to her head and if she were standing she's sure she'd have to grab onto something to stay upright.

She mumbles out an apology. "Can't sleep. Little chilly, isn't it?" She bluffs.

When he stays silent, she thinks he may have just accepted the answer. Letting out a shaky exhale, she turns again-

She freezes when he turns with her, a strong arm banding around her middle, holding her in place. "You gonna make me hold you in place?"

Bless whoever's up there for the dark because her face is burning.

"Would love that, actually." She mutters to herself before she can reign the impulsiveness in. Her body stiffens when she hears her own voice, and she's ready to spring up and apologise, tell him she didn't mean to make him uncomfortable, ready to banish herself to sleep on the floor.

But then Ghost hums.

His hand starts to drift. She swallows as he traces a slow path down to where his shirt's hem is, toying with the fabric between his fingers.

Dream, this must be a dream-

He tugs her backward into him, into his warmth and his soothing scent and something about it has her going completely boneless. It felt...comforting. Felt nice to be held. Ghost takes to tracing small circles into her skin, soothing and repetitive. "Relax." He orders, albeit with less of a push.

A shiver runs down her spine as she feels his breath fan over the back of his neck. The bastard notices too, if for the way his chest rumbles with a chuckle.

There's no way Ghost doesn't feel her heart pounding against him.

Maybe it was the comfort of the dark that makes the both of them so bold, but she takes in a shaky breath and reaches for his hand, stilling it in place with her own. They stay like that for a moment, and suddenly the silence isn't as unbearable.

Eventually, her breathing evens out, her eyes become heavy and she finds the tension draining out of her. Nothing would happen to her here, she didn't have to worry about anything right now. Just sleep. Just sleep and the warmth that enveloped her, and why the hell was he so warm and why does she want more of it?

Right before she lets the lull of sleep pull her under, she mumbles a whisper of thanks to him.

She doesn't think she imagines the content sound he lets out in response.

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(2/09/2023)

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slaymitchabernathy · 2 months ago

Text

The Nanny

꧁ One Month Later ꧂

Soarynn studies herself in the vanity mirror.

Would her father be proud of the woman she's become?

She's always tried to make him proud but being fired by the President of Panem is a bit of a letdown, a streak on her perfectly clean record. It's truly humbled her. Which is why today, she has an interview.

An interview for a job that has no emotional reasoning, only logic is involved. She's never been a receptionist before but it seems easy enough and if her skills and personality don't land her the job, then her last name certainly will.

"There are certain perks to being a Nightingale," she says to herself, applying a layer of lipstick.

The first few days after being fired as the Snow's nanny were short of horrible. She cried for hours on end, not necessarily because she got her feelings hurt, but because of the children. She didn't think she'd get so attached, but she did, broke every rule in the book by loving them and caring for them as if she were their mother.

Even though he warned her not to.

In fact, President Snow explicitly told her not to do so and she still did.

She could certainly blame Festus Creed, but at the end of the day, it was her own fault. She didn't grow careless, instead, she cared too much and it cost her the children.

A painful lesson to learn.

She turns on her stool to face Petunia who's been lounging on her bed since they both woke up for the day, "How do I look Petunia?" Her fluffy white cat only meows in response, batting a paw in the air. Soarynn allows herself a small smile, reaching over to scratch behind her ears before getting up to get dressed.

She picked out her outfit last night so she didn't run late. A stylish red dress with a straight neckline and a belt that accentuates her waist, and a pair of black heels. Simple yet classy. She chooses a few pieces of gold jewelry to go along with her outfit, earrings, a simple necklace, and perhaps a ring. She studies her small collection of rings that she's gathered over the years and her eyes land on a ring with a rose adorning it.

She'd be lying if she said it didn't hurt to see it.

Roses now hold a very deep, personal meaning to her.

She decides on a simple gold band and just as she's slipping it on, the doorbell rings.

Soarynn frowns, she had arranged for a driver to pick her up but that's not for at least another thirty minutes. Still, she quickly leaves her closet and makes her way out of her room and into the hallway. She glides down the marble staircase, Petunia hot on her heels to also see who's at the door.

Soarynn quickly runs her fingers through her hair, just in case there's a very attractive man on the other side of the doors who was looking for a wife.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

The doorbell rings three more times in a row and Soarynn frowns, whoever is on the other side must be in a terrible hurry. She pulls the doors open and can't stop the shock from spreading across her face when she sees a small finger attached to the doorbell, more importantly, who is attached to that little finger.

Celeste smiles up at her, "Soarynn I rang the doorbell!"

Soarynn is at a loss for words when Celeste and Ceraphina rush in to hug her, talking a mile a minute, her hands resting on their blonde curls like it's second nature. She nods along to everything they say, trying to gain her bearings. Never in her life did she think the Snow girls would be at her house. She looks up for a moment and her heart nearly stops at the sight of President Snow standing on her doorstep, Caspian in his arms.

She knows she was hoping for an attractive man looking for a wife, but this is not exactly what she had in mind.

"Did you miss us?"

That question pulls her out of her daze and she nods, looking back down at the girls, "I've missed so you very much," she whispers, getting a bit emotional.

Ceraphina smiles and her attention is quickly drawn to Petunia who's been watching from a safe distance, "Petunia!" It's a mad dash the moment she speaks, Petunia darting into the living room and the girls chasing after her, giggling up a storm.

Soarynn doesn't even know what to do or say so she simply watches President Snow slowly walk up the steps and give her a nod, "May we come in?"

Soarynn focuses on Caspian who's already reaching out for her, "You might as well," she answers, giving Caspian's hand a squeeze, "Momma," he mumbles and President Snow sighs, "I know Cas, I know." His piercing gaze settles back on Soarynn and she feels a shiver travel down her spine, "I was hoping we could talk."

Soarynn swallows, she can't really say no, not to the President of Panem. "Alright." President Snow looks around the foyer of her home wearily as if memories are flashing through his mind of a time when this house was full of life a laughter.

Now it's filled with death and darkness, much like his own home.

"Perhaps we should have this discussion in the study," he suggests, forging forward and leaving her with no option but to follow him. He seems so sure of himself walking through her house, but he's been here before if she can recall, or he at least knew her parents quite well. Caspian lets out several whimpers and whines, flailing in his father’s arms as he carries them through the house.

He leads them to her father's study, a room she hasn't touched in months. He turns on the light and turns to face her, a bit of an uncomfortable look on his face, "I think he wants you to hold him."

"Yes," is all Caspian says and Soarynn is more than happy to oblige, lifting him from his father's arms and pressing a kiss to his head once he's safely in hers, "Oh, I missed you, sweet boy," she whispers. Caspian lifts his head and she grins when she sees that little smile on his face, "Lenny misses," he mumbles. Soarynn raises her eyebrows, "Lenny misses me too? I've missed him quite a lot as well."

Caspian seems content with her confession and rests his head back on her chest, leaving Soarynn to look back up at his father who's watching them with so much conflict behind his eyes. "Let's sit down," he finally says, rounding her father's desk as if he lives here.

Soarynn doesn't fight it though, she just sits down in the chair across from him, trying to forget what happened the last time they were seated like this.

"I have come..." he starts, his teeth clicking when he shuts his mouth, shaking his head, "I...I have come to apologize to you."

Soarynn raises her eyebrows again, "You have come to apologize?"

He nods, seemingly as surprised as she is, "I have," he confirms, "I was wrong for what I did, although I will not apologize for my reasoning." Soarynn furrows her eyebrows at his contradicting words and before she can say anything he holds his hand up, silencing her, "Let me explain my reasoning first, then you can tell me what a horrible human being I am," he says.

He sounds like he's said that a thousand times, always having to explain how he does things and he probably has. Being President means making hard calls, and tough decisions, and someone is always going to be hurt by them. This time, it was Soarynn.

"When I was alerted about the...incident, my main concern was my children. At the end of the day, their safety is my main priority. Not their happiness, not their upbringing, their safety. When I heard about what had transpired feet away from their rooms, no matter who was at fault, I knew their safety had been at risk and that was reason enough for me to dismiss you."

Soarynn looks back down at Caspian, sound asleep in her arms already. He had witnessed the horrific night, and something could've happened, Festus could've acted out of anger and hurt him or the girls.

"That being said, I cannot afford to act off of emotion. I can not afford to get close to anyone, to let anyone in. Not after Livia. So when I dared to break my rules for a moment, when I allowed you to call me by my name and then within the same breath found out about what happened between you and Festus, I knew what had to be done. I knew that by breaking my own rules, there would be consequences. I didn't however, expect to reap them so soon," he admits, sitting back in the chair, "but I was hurt nonetheless."

Soarynn didn't think President Snow was capable of being hurt, not from what she's seen. But perhaps his children are the one thing, the one way to hurt him. They're the one thing he loves and it's the things we love most that destroy us.

She purses her lips, "I understand," she says slowly, "I don't appreciate how rashly you acted and how you went about dismissing me but I do understand how important your children’s safety is. Their safety is important to me too. I would never do anything to endanger them."

He lets out a bitter laugh, rubbing his temples, "I know," he tells her, "I know you wouldn't and I know that you weren't the one who started the entire thing between you and Festus."

Soarynn's eyes widen at his statement. Where was this logic a month ago?

"I...I had my doubts," he says, "not that I didn't believe Festus but it was hard to picture the timid, quiet Soarynn Nightingale throwing herself all over a man who she didn't seem interested in a few hours ago, still, I had my loyalties and I did act rashly. It was partially due to you leaving immediately after which in my eyes, made you look guilty and it also..."

Soarynn watches him struggle to find the words to say, perhaps he's never uttered them before. "It also made me feel like a fool for letting you in and confiding in you. I thought perhaps I had found someone who genuinely cared about the sanctity of my family, someone whose care went further than the surface, so to have Festus whispering those lies in my ear truly clouded my judgment."

Soarynn blinks once, twice. She was not expecting this. None of this in fact. She was supposed to go to an interview and yet here she is, sitting with the man who fired her and managed to break her heart without even being romantically involved with her.

What a terrifying concept.

"But you know now," she says slowly, not entirely trusting herself to speak, "you know what he did to me?"

President Snow nods, a displeased look on his face, "I do," he confirms, "and I'm sorry you had to go through that, alone and without a job on top of that." Soarynn feels her lip tremble but she remains intact, she is not as breakable as he thinks.

"How do you know he's lying and I'm not?"

President Snow sighs, drumming his fingers on the wooden desk, "After I dramatically fired you, the girls were a mess as you briefly witnessed. They were inconsolable, and they refused to speak to me. This went on for several weeks as you can imagine, the tantrums, the crabiness, the distancing. I've hardly been able to recognize my darling daughters," he mumbles, shaking his head, "and I'm the one to blame. But I invited Festus over a few days ago for a drink, I needed to clear my head after the month I'd endured. Looking for a new nanny has proven to be more difficult than I anticipated. You've set our standards quite high," he tells her, a small twinkle in his eyes.

Soarynn feels herself swell with pride at his comment. To know that she's left a lasting mark, a lasting impression on his family is closure enough. But he continues talking, "I brought Caspian with me," he gestures to his sleeping son, "he hasn't been sleeping well since you left. Screaming, crying, the whole nine yards. The moment he saw Festus I saw something I've never seen in Caspian's eyes."

Soarynn peers down at the sleeping angel in her arms, the sweetest boy who has eyes identical to his father’s. She can't imagine what President Snow saw that frightened him so much.

"What did you see?"

"Hate."

His answer is enough to stun her. Caspian isn't capable of hate, he wouldn't hurt a fly let alone have it in him to hate someone.

President Snow nods as if reading her perplexed mind, "Exactly. He refused to look at Festus for the rest of the night until Festus went to tickle him, trying to cheer him up and Caspian pushed his hand away, another thing that stunned me. Then Festus made a few crude comments about you when I mentioned that your departure might be a reason for Caspian's behavior. I called him out on it but he insisted I was just tired and frustrated. When Festus was leaving, he went to give Caspian a friendly squeeze, he's more than used to it," he says, watching Soarynn nod along to his words.

"And then...and then Caspian said two words, and that was all I needed to hear to know that it wasn't you who came onto Festus, but Festus who came onto you and followed you upstairs while everyone else was down at the party."

Her mouth is dry with anticipation but she manages to speak, "What did he say?"

President Snow focuses his gaze on Caspian, a bit of pride in his eyes, "He pushed Festus away again and said: 'Hurt Momma' and I knew there was no one else on the earth that he could consider to be his mother but you."

Soarynn doesn't realize she's crying until a tear lands on top of Caspian's head, causing him to rouse from his sleep and press a hand on her cheek, "Momma." She looks down into his eyes, a loving smile on her face, "I'm right here darling."

"After that, I pushed Festus into telling the truth. He claimed he was drunk as if that made it any better or excused his actions. Then I remembered seeing the bruise on your wrist. I put the rest of the pieces together before taking care of Festus."

Soarynn looks at him from across the desk, both their eyes holding different emotions, "He...he found me when I was leaving Caspian's room. I bumped the doors open trying to get away and Caspian ended up witnessing the whole thing," she gets out, more tears burning as the memories resurface, "I didn't think he'd remember any of it after I got him back to sleep."

A flash of anger passes through his eyes before they return to normal and he clasps his hands, "I can assure you that Festus will be dealt with thoroughly."

Soarynn doesn’t press to find out what he truly means. As long as she doesn’t have to worry about Festus breaking into her home at night, then it’s none of her concern.

They both sit there for a moment, staring at each other as if neither of them truly knows what to make out of the other. For a second when they were dancing, Soarynn thought she had felt something, witnessed something genuine rather than the usual cold facade she was greeted with.

But he’s closed off now, even in the safety of her own home he’s on guard, protecting himself and his children. She can hear the girls giggling in the other room and a few meows of protest from Petunia who’s most likely tired out and given in to their want to play with her.

“Is this all you came for then?” She asks, her voice steadier than she thought it would be. After all these months, President Snow still has the capability of making her nervous. Even in her father’s study.

He shakes his head, clearing his throat while doing so. “No, I…we,” he gestures to himself and then to Caspian, “have come to ask for you to come back to us.”

Soarynn’s heartbeat rapidly increases at the request, at the chance to go back to being with the children. A small part of her worries about what could lie in the future, she could be fired again, humiliated again. And for something she did not do.

But the larger part of her wants nothing more than to wake up and face the new day with the Snow children by her side. The future might be prosperous for her and she’d be a fool to let it slip through her fingers.

“You want me back?”

President Snow nods, a small smile on his lips, “I will not lie and say that the past month has been easy. Eudora has taken on the brunt of caring for the children but she can’t do two things at once forever and there’s no one in this world who can care for them the way you do. The girls won’t accept anyone but you and I’m highly certain that Caspian feels the same way.”

Soarynn almost finds herself nodding to his proposal when she realizes how much time has passed. She’s missed her interview.

“I was supposed to have an interview today,” she says, more to herself than to him. “I was going to be a secretary for a law firm.”

President Snow quirks an eyebrow yet he does not look surprised in the slightest, “I know,” he plainly states, “I was the one who referred you.” Soarynn's jaw slightly drops, she hadn't expected him to have a helping hand in landing her interview but President Snow is full of surprises it seems. He scoffs a laugh at her dumbfounded expression, "Don't look so stunned," he tells her, leaning back in his chair, "you're an excellent worker, even if you didn't list me as a reference."

Soarynn blushes at his comment, she had chosen to forego listing him as a past employer for many obvious reasons, worrying that he might say something to further ruin her reputation. But instead, he helped her.

"Then you knew about it," she murmurs, daring to look him directly in the eye, "you knew my interview would be today, so you showed up right before I left."

The President of Panem almost looks...caught if that's even possible. Guilty would be a better term for it.

He cards a hand through his golden curls and sighs deeply, "I must admit that showing up today was a strategic plan on my part and a desperate one on Eudora's part since she's quite eager to have you back with us. We figured catching you before the interview would be our best route."

Soarynn didn't realize she was so special.

"Well, I...I would not be opposed to working for your family again," she says, straightening up in her seat, "but I would like to request a few things should I agree to your terms."

President Snow gives her a teasing look as if he hadn't expected this, but Soarynn would be a fool to blindly agree to come back without a safety net in place, "Go on," he encourages, "tell me your terms and conditions."

Soarynn clears her throat, feeling as if she's conducting a business meeting with him. Her father used to do this with her all the time when she wanted something, have her draft up a business proposal, or well, a semblance of one. That's how she got Petunia, a compelling argument can go a long way.

But this isn't her father.

"I would like actions to be taken to prevent another incident from occurring," she states, watching his eyes flash with anger but not at her, she knows who he's really mad at. "Not just in your home," she elaborates, "but anywhere we go, anywhere something bad could happen."

He laces his fingers together, "Anything else?"

"Yes, the children need something to look after, some responsibility like a pet." His nostrils flare at her suggestion, you'd think she suggested setting fire to the Mansion, "A pet is a huge undertaking," he tells her, using the same voice he uses with his girls, "not to mention messy and loud. An animal in my house is quite unlikely."

Soarynn frowns and rubs soothing circles on Caspian's back when he slightly stirs, "A horse then," she decides, "build a stable and allow the girls to take riding lessons. They could learn a great deal by taking care of the horse." He looks off into the distance as if contemplating her proposal and Soarynn hopes he'll accept it, the girls love animals and while a dog might be better suited for them, a horse is a step in the right direction.

"I'll speak to my groundskeepers about building stables," he finally says.

Soarynn cheerfully nods, "Wonderful."

"Is there anything else?"

Soarynn tugs at her bottom lip with her teeth, she can't think of anything else off the top of her head, except..."I want you to listen to me when I try and tell you something," she tells him, "I want you to trust that I would never do anything to put your children in danger and if someone says I would, then I want you to come to me first, not fire me first."

His throat bobs and she knows she's got him. Soarynn shouldn't be talking to her boss this way but this might be her only chance.

"Alright Ms. Nightingale," he says slowly, "I'll agree to your conditions. They seem fair and logical, and I can have my secretary write up a contract listing all of them for the two of us to sign off on."

Soarynn is buzzing with excitement, she gets to go back, to be with the children again.

"Now let me list my terms and conditions."

What?

President Snow wears a smirk letting her know that this won't be a one-sided exchange, "For starters, you'll actually take your one day off every month instead of spending it with my children. I know you've been avoiding those days but it's important for one to have a day of rest."

Soarynn slightly slouches in her chair but doesn't argue with him, perhaps a day off every now and then wouldn't be the worst thing. "Secondly, and I'm speaking for my entire family when I say this, we want you to become a live-in nanny."

Soarynn scrunches her eyebrows in confusion. A live-in nanny?

He waves off her confusion with the wave of his hand, "You'll move into the mansion with us, be with my children at all hours of the day instead of returning to your home every night." He looks around the study that hasn't been touched since the day her father died, dust covering almost anything, "I have a feeling that it must get quite lonely in this large house."

Soarynn purses her lips, it certainly does get lonely but she has Petunia to keep her company and she can't just abandon her. "I'd have to bring my cat," she tells him, watching his jaw clench, "I can't leave her, she's all I have left of him," she whispers the last part. "Besides, the girls already love her and she won't cause any trouble I swear. All she does is sleep."

They're at a bit of a standstill, both wanting something from the other, not willing to give up or back down.

Finally, he breaks.

"Fine. Your cat may come but should she damage any of my property, she's out."

Soarynn can't hide the smile growing across her face, she gets her children back and Petunia gets to come with her. Oh, the girls will be so excited when they hear the news. "You can start today I presume?' He asks while rising from his seat. Soarynn quickly nods and does the same, adjusting her hold on Caspian, "Yes sir."

He grunts, "Very well then. Pack your things and my men will bring them all to the Mansion this afternoon. You and the children can return home once you're finished packing."

Soarynn's smile slightly drops at his orders, "You're not coming with us?" He looks perplexed by her question and sudden disappointment but shakes his head, "I have meetings to attend in the city. I assumed you would accept my offer so I would then be able to leave my children in your trusted care once again. I have another car waiting outside to take you all back home."

Soarynn purses her lips but she doesn't push him any further, this discussion has been a lot for the both of them.

"Home," Caspian repeats, now wide awake. Soarynn softly chuckles and places a kiss on top of his head, "Mhm, we're all going home Cas."

President Snow eyes her and his son, a somewhat fond expression in his eyes although she doubts it's for her and most likely for his son, but she wonders what it would be like for him to look at her that way. He might have looked at Livia like that once upon a time before their world came crashing down.

"Daddy! Daddy look!"

The girls come running into the study, drawing their focus to the topic at hand which will always be the children. Soarynn looks down to find a very annoyed-looking Petunia with a pink ribbon tied around her neck while being held in Ceraphina's arms. She lets out a pleading meow when she sees Soarynn as if saying: 'Save me.'

A small smile graces the President's lips, a genuine one at that, reserved only for his darling children, "She doesn't look too pleased about playing dress-up darling." Ceraphina shakes her head, "She loves it, don't you Petunia?"

Petunia does her best to avoid eye contact with anyone, looking at the ground instead, "Your house is so big Soarynn," Celeste tells her, reaching up to take her hand. Soarynn gladly takes it, knowing now to cherish every moment with these sweet angels, "I won't be staying in it for much longer," she muses, watching both girls grow curious faces. "What do you mean? Are you moving?" Celeste asks, tugging on her hand with an anxious look on her face.

Soarynn immediately crouches down so she's at eye level with both girls who have been dealing with loss for quite some time now, her departure only adding to that trauma, "I am moving," she tells them, watching the crestfallen looks on their faces only grow deeper causing a smile to grow onto hers, "because I'm moving in with you. I'm going to be your live-in nanny now."

The change in their demeanors is instantaneous, the girls go from on the verge of tears to shrieking and jumping up and down.

"Really?! You're really gonna come live with us Soarynn?"

"I am," Soarynn confirms, "Petunia is too."

This might be the best news the girls have ever gotten. They go from hugging Soarynn to hugging their father, thanking him for allowing Soarynn to return. Caspian rests a hand on her cheek and she turns to look into his blue eyes, identical to his father's, "Stay," he says with a determined tone.

Soarynn nods, pressing a kiss to his hand, "I'm staying," she tells him, "I'm not going anywhere."

꧁ ꧂

Everything becomes a blur once President Snow leaves.

After saying goodbye to the children and making them promise to behave, he left for his meetings and Soarynn took the children upstairs so she could start packing.

She packs the necessities first, things such as toiletries and her favorite clothing items while the girls run rampant through her room, wanting to see and touch everything she's ever owned. She doesn't mind though, she's simply happy to be back in their presence again. Caspian sits atop her bed, watching her pack her things into a suitcase while Petunia sits next to him, both their curious blue eyes watching her every move.

"Soarynn, who's this?"

Soarynn glances over at her bookshelf where Ceraphina and Celeste are staring at a photograph of her and her father together, taken the day she graduated from the Academy. "That's my father," she says with a sad smile, "he passed away a while ago."

Ceraphina reaches out to touch the photograph, gently so she doesn't risk knocking it over, "Where's the pictures of you with your mommy?"

A wave of sadness washes over Soarynn, knowing that she'll never have a photograph of her and her mother together is a painful reminder of how her mother passed away. "She died when I was a baby," she explains, "so we never got to take a photo together."

Cera Nightingale was known for her beauty and acts of kindness. She was known to be graceful and full of life, lighting up every room she walked into. So it was no surprise that she fell for Glen Nightingale, a quiet man with a large heart and a kind demeanor. The couple had been overjoyed when they found out Cera was pregnant with their firstborn daughter, who would unbeknownst to them, take Cera's life during the traumatic birth.

And yet her father remained endlessly kind and patient with her, even though Soarynn carried guilt deep down, a feeling that she was responsible for killing her mother. She didn't speak of her mother often, the last time she spoke of her was with President Snow who remarked on their similar looks and traits of kindness, both things she would never bear witness to.

"It's okay," Celeste tells her, crossing the room to place a comforting hand on Soarynn's leg, "as long as we have Daddy, we'll be okay." Soarynn finds it so very adorable and kind of Celeste to be comforting her in this time of sadness, especially at such a young age. President Snow had commented on how she might make his children more kind but that seems impossible, they're already endlessly kind.

"Yes," Soarynn agrees, "we'll all be okay."

꧁ ꧂

It's a wonderful feeling to be back in the President's Mansion. Soarynn thought she might never grace these halls again, let alone with Petunia who took one look at the grand foyer before turning her head and making her way up the stairs. It might take some more exploring to impress her.

"Here's your room dear," Eudora calls, "right down this hall."

Soarynn finds herself surprised when she realizes that her room is in the same hall as the rest of the Snow family's rooms, right in between the girl's bedrooms and Caspian's room. Probably for the convenience of things but she's still shocked to be in such close proximity to the Presidential family, especially President Snow himself who's now only a few doors down.

"Coriolanus wanted you to have this room," Eudora tells her once they all reach the doors, "he said you might enjoy the view." Eudora pushes the doors open after saying that and Soarynn can't stop the gasp from leaving her lips.

It's gorgeous.

It's also huge. There's a large canopy bed pressed against the back wall which has large windows on each side, letting in so much natural light. To the right is a large sitting area with sofas, armchairs, and a fireplace. There are also bookshelves and a large coffee table in the middle of the seating arrangements.

To the left is a large-looking vanity with a dresser and a full-length mirror in the corner. "Oh my goodness," she whispers as she walks into the room, the girls running ahead of her. "Come and see the closet!" Ceraphina says, running into what must be the closet and bathroom. Soarynn follows her as if in a trance, taking a moment to look up at the high, intricately carved ceilings.

The bathroom is just as massive with a tub, shower, and huge counter space with a large mirror as well. There are two sinks and lots of storage space under the counters as well. Soarynn also notes a built-in vanity area as well should she choose to get ready in the bathroom instead.

"You can put your dresses in here," Celeste tells her, pointing towards the closet. Celeste had taken a liking to all of Soarynn's dresses, claiming they were fit for a princess. Soarynn was honored to be considered a princess even though she felt she was far from being one.

“This is amazing,” she whispers to herself when she finally walks into the large walk-in closet. It’s as big as the bathroom with a large table in the middle with a vase of roses sitting on top of it.

“There’s a card!” Ceraphina says, standing on her tiptoes to reach the card leaning against the base of roses. Eudora ends up reaching it for her, a curious look on the older woman’s face which means she had nothing to do with this mystery letter.

Ceraphina proudly brings it over to Soarynn who reluctantly takes it, turning it over to see if anything’s been written on it.

On the front, it simply reads:

To Ms. Nightingale

She turns it and finds that the back has been sealed with a stamp, a rose in the center of the wax. “Rose,” Caspian says, touching the wax for a moment. Soarynn nods before setting the card down on one of the shelves, “I can read it later. Why don’t you girls help me unpack?”

She’s met with excited gasps from the girls and a relieved sigh from Eudora who had been so very happy to see Soarynn walking back into the Mansion. “We’ve been quite miserable without you dear,” she had said as they walked up the grand staircase, “you’ve left a mark on this family it seems.”

The girls run back out into the bedroom to start unpacking the small bag Soarynn brought with her. The rest of her things are packed in trunks, waiting to be picked up by President Snow’s men, whoever they are. Soarynn has seen so many men over the past few months, ranging from Peacekeepers to diplomats. They have one thing in common: President Snow signs their paychecks.

“I have some things to put together, you know where to find me,” Eudora tells her and Soarynn nods, “Of course. Thank you, Eudora.”

Soarynn lingers in the closet for a moment once Eudora leaves, making it just her and Caspian in this large room with so much space she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to fill it.

What if this all goes away? What if he fires me again? What if I lose the children again?

A million terrible thoughts race through her head, thoughts about being forced out of this house again but this time would be much more painful. To have to pack her things and then leave would be devastating.

But it won’t come to that. Not if she has anything to do with it.

“Rose,” Caspian says again, pointing at the letter.

Soarynn sighs and picks it up again, feeling the paper between her fingertips, “Let’s open it now hmm?”

Soarynn walks into the bathroom and carefully sets Caspian down on the countertop before tearing open the wax seal. Her fingers slightly tremble as she pulls out the thick card, only a few words written on it from what she can see.

“Soarynn! Come look at Petunia!”

Her eyes are glued to the card when she answers, “Coming darling!”

Soarynn sets the card down on the counter, letting out a sigh before collecting herself and picking Caspian back up. She has things to do, a job to do in fact and she plans on doing it better than the first time.

But the letter stays in the back of her mind the entire day.

Those words linger on the tip of her tongue and lead her to think about the man sleeping a few doors down from her.

I do hope you enjoy the view of the gardens, and I do hope you find your new room is up to your standards. Should you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know. I hope we can share another dance in the near future. Yours truly, Coriolanus Snow

꧁ ꧂

꧁ One Week Later ꧂

“I don’t want to wear black.”

Soarynn suppresses a sigh, she knows it’s no use in fighting any of the children today. Not when it holds such a heavy burden on their hearts.

“We have to wear black because Daddy said so,” Ceraphina reminds her little sister, fixing her own black dress, “then we can go put flowers on Mommy’s grave.”

Today marks the two-year anniversary of Livia Snow's death.

It's now a national day of remembrance and many establishments are closed for the day, including all the schools in the Capitol. Soarynn had glanced out of the front windows of the Mansion earlier this morning to see a crowd of people gathering at the front gates to lay down flowers and cards for the family.

The girls were fine during breakfast, chattering away like normal but their father was far from normal, acting more curt and closed off than usual, which was saying something for the man. Caspian didn't seem to be affected by today's significance, but Soarynn still felt terrible about it.

If Livia were still alive, she wouldn't be working for the Snow family.

"It's not a princess dress," Celeste whines, stomping her foot.

Before Soarynn can offer a word of encouragement, an authoritative voice fills the bedroom, stern and sharp, "I will not allow any misbehavior today Celeste. You should know better by now."

Celeste shrinks into herself and Soarynn glances over her shoulder at President Snow, looming over all of them with an aggravated look on his face. She swallows and turns her attention back to the youngest Snow daughter, making sure her hair is properly clipped back, "It's just for a little while darling," she whispers, hoping to salvage the rest of the day, "and you look tremendously grown up in your dress."

Celeste's bottom lip quivers and tears are quick to follow, "I...I don't wanna be grown up, I want Mommy back!" Soarynn's heart clenches at the sight of Celeste in tears, clearly hurting on this dreadful day. "I'm sorry," she whispers, crouching down to comfort Celeste, "I'm sorry she's not here anymore darling. But she's watching over you, and I know she'd be so proud of you." Celeste sniffles and allows Soarynn to pull her in for a hug, a few hiccups escaping her throat, "I don't want Daddy to be mad at me," she whispers, more tears flowing down her face.

Soarynn shakes her head and wipes her tears, "He's not mad at you darling, he could never be mad at you." She looks over her shoulder again at the man who she still knows so little about, but she knows one thing for certain, he loves his children. And he's hurting just as much as they are today.

She can see the sadness in his eyes, watching his youngest daughter break down over the loss of her mother, someone she barely got the chance to know. Ceraphina had been three when Livia passed away, Celeste was two and Caspian was still a baby.

But who could forget a mother's love?

"Come here Celeste," he says quietly, holding out a hand.

Celeste looks up at him with a bit of hesitation and Soarynn gives her a gentle squeeze, "Go on darling," she encourages, standing back up and moving to the side. She watches Celeste slowly walk over to her father, her head lowered, eyes trained on the floor. President Snow sighs and gets down on one knee to be more at eye-level with her.

He takes her small hands in his large ones and while Soarynn can't distinctly make out what he says to her, she knows it's comforting from the way Celeste melts into his hold, letting him wrap his arms around her while they both grieve.

Soarynn has never seen President Snow cry but today could be the day where a tear graces his stoic face.

She looks down at Ceraphina who's watching the interaction with watery eyes as well, "Are you alright Ceraphina?" She asks, wanting to make sure all the children are equally attended to today. Ceraphina nods and wipes any trace of tears away with the back of her hand, "Daddy says it'll get easier," she tells Soarynn, not taking her eyes off of her father and sister, "he says one day we won't be sad when we think about Mommy."

She looks up and gives Soarynn a small smile, "I don't think I can be happy today though."

Soarynn nods, resting a loving hand on top of her blonde hair, "You can be sad for as long as you want darling. No one expects you to get over it in a day or even in a year."

Ceraphina hums, "I know. I'm not like Daddy."

꧁ ꧂

Soarynn hadn't expected the cemetery to be closed today.

But now that she's seen how many people have gathered outside of the fence, she's not surprised. It's the biggest crowd she's ever seen as their car pulls up to the cemetery entrance, two Peacekeepers open the gates so that their car can drive through.

Everyone is in black.

A few people wave, all their faces somber. She spots some older women sporting mourning veils while little children clutch onto their parents and watch the car drive by.

She holds Caspian a little tighter in her lap, making sure his coat is properly buttoned. It's a cold November day, cloudy and dreary, almost fitting for the occasion.

She watches Ceraphina and Celeste lean against their father, sitting on either side of them while President Snow keeps his eyes closed and his head tilted back. He must be exhausted.

The car slowly comes to a stop and Eudora is the first one out, sporting her own mourning attire, a long black coat, a black wig, and eyelashes to match. Soarynn thinks about how Livia's funeral was the hardest thing for Eudora to plan. And who could plan for something like that?

Soarynn out of all people knows how hard it is to lose a parent. No one should have to plan for something like that.

"Let's go children," Eudora calls, waving them to follow her.

Ceraphina looks up at her father before slowly sliding across the seat and out of the car, taking Eudora's hand the second her feet touch the ground. President Snow finally opens his eyes and leans down to whisper something in Celeste's ear. Her eyes widen and she nods, taking his hand once again before they both get out of the car.

"It's our turn Caspian," Soarynn says softly, making sure she's got a good hold on the youngest Snow child while she steps out of the car. She's offered a hand and manages to keep a neutral expression as she takes President Snow's hand, gracefully standing back up to her full height, "Thank you," she says.

He only nods in response before turning on his heel to lead the way.

Soarynn has never visited Livia Snow's grave so she can only follow him and watch the children. Celeste and her father stay in the front with Eudora and Celeste in the center. Soarynn and Caspian bring up the rear and she takes a quick look around and notes several Peacekeepers either following them or patrolling the perimeter of the cemetery.

Soarynn has gotten more used to their presence but seeing them with their large guns makes her anxious.

Soarynn walks a bit faster to catch up to Eudora and Ceraphina and she lowers her voice before asking her a question, "Are we...are we allowed to be with the family for this?"

Eudora keeps her gaze trained on what's ahead of her but she shakes her head, "You and I will stay back while they visit her grave."

Soarynn hums, focusing her gaze on the back of President Snow's head, his blonde curls swept back and away from his face looking so soft. She wonders if Livia ever ran her fingers through them, if she ever looked up at him so adoringly.

From what Eudora's told her, probably not.

They walk deep into the cemetery, farther than Soarynn anticipated but when she sees the sheer size of Livia's tombstone, she can see why it's so far back.

Many people in the Capitol are rich, wealthy, and elite. But you can't take your money with you when you die. Unless you're Livia Snow. Her grave isn't even a grave, it's a mausoleum with roses growing outside of it. Soarynn has seen many decrepit graves but this is not one of them. The marble stone shines as if it's brand new. They must have someone come and clean it from time to time. Soarynn knows the Capitol citizens often come to pay their respects and leave flowers as well.

The doors leading to the inside are closed and if Sosrynn remembers correctly, they're always closed to the public. Only the family is allowed inside.

President Snow and Celeste come to a halt in front of the stone structure and both of them look back at their remaining family members. Ceraphina lets go of Eudora's hand and slowly makes her way over to her father and sister, reaching up to grab her father's other hand. Soarynn takes in a shaky breath before slowly approaching Livia's gravesite, Caspian feeling so heavy in her arms all of a sudden as if there's a weight on her chest.

Caspian reaches out for his father the second he's within reach, "Momma," he says, pointing at the doors. President Snow's face is grim but he nods, "I can take him." Normally, Soarynn would hesitate, not wanting to burden her employer but today is not the day to question his orders so she silently hands the small boy off to his father who holds him as if he weighs nothing.

"Let's go visit your mother," he says to the children, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a key.

Soarynn takes this as her sign to leave and gives the girls one last encouraging nod before she walks back to where Eudora is standing. They both watch the Snow family make their way inside the mausoleum, all of them scuffling behind one another. "It never gets easier," Eudora says with a sigh, "last year was horrible if you can imagine."

Soarynn certainly can imagine how terrible it must have been, the first year is always the hardest. "He seems tired," Soarynn notes, "his patience is thinner today than it usually is."

Eudora lets out a dry laugh, "If he had his way, we wouldn't even come and visit her. He does this for the children, it helps them understand and move on. But I know he wants nothing more than to move past this."

Soarynn can't imagine wanting to move past the death of her husband if she should ever marry. She'd spend every day mourning his loss and yet President Snow looks like he'd rather be at a meeting.

"I suppose we all grieve differently," Soarynn decides.

Soarynn looks over at the fence where a crowd has gathered, watching them and the Snow family with curious eyes and a few with cameras. "Is there always a crowd?" Eudora perks up and nods, "Oh yes. Last year it was even bigger, that's why we closed down the cemetery today, it was far too chaotic the first time."

It must be terribly strange to have people watching your every move while you mourn the loss of a family member. The Snows are already under a microscope, and Livia's death has only increased people's opinions about them.

"Is it alright if I walk around for a bit?" Soarynn asks, shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat, "I feel a bit out of place just standing here." Eudora gives her shoulder a gentle pat, meant to be comforting, "Of course, dear."

Soarynn offers her a tight-lipped smile before she begins her journey to the far side of the cemetery where many elite members of society have been buried. While none of their graves compare to Livia's, they're still monumental, not to mention incredibly expensive. It's one thing to afford a nice house or apartment while you're living, but to afford a tombstone when you're dead is another thing entirely.

Soarynn wouldn't care if she was buried in a wooden box, but that's just the way things are.

She passes several plots reserved for entire families before she stops in front of the familiar plot, only space for one more grave.

Hers.

She walks up to the graves of both her parents, dusting off any dirt or leaves from the tops. Her fingertips drag over the engraved words on their headstones.

Cera Nightingale - Beloved Wife & Mother "Till we meet again in the meadow."

Glen Nightingale - Beloved Husband & Father "My grief has been the souvenir of our love."

What will hers read?

Beloved Daughter & Cat Owner?

She can't imagine what will happen when Petunia gets older, she's all she has left of her father, and her family for that matter.

"I miss you," she whispers, resting a hand against her father's headstone, "I miss you every time I close my eyes."

Soarynn hadn't known loss until she lost her father. It's terrifying to love something that death can so easily touch.

Soarynn stays there for what feels like an eternity until she hears a small voice calling out her name, "Soarynn!"

Soarynn quickly wipes any trace of tears or emotion off of her face before turning around to face Ceraphina who's run up to her, her cheeks red from the cold. She doesn't look like she's been crying her eyes out which is a good thing she hopes. "Hello darling," she greets her, brushing a stray hair from her face, "how're you feeling?"

Ceraphina shrugs, looking around at the surrounding graves, "I'm okay. We got to pick the roses and put them on Mommy's grave and then I got to talk to her and tell her I turned five and then Celeste talked to her and said she turned four. Then Caspian said something about Lenny except I can't remember the rest. Then Daddy whispered some words and now here we are."

Soarynn looks up to find that the entire Snow family has made their way over to her, Eudora included. Ceraphina peers around Soarynn's legs and her eyes zero in on her parent's tombstones, "Did you know these people?"

Soarynn hums, "These are my parents graves."

She watches Ceraphina slowly approach the tombstones, her small hand resting on her mother's stone, "Do you come to visit them a lot?" Soarynn shakes her head, more guilt eating away at her heart, "No," she answers, "I should visit more often but I don't."

She watches out of the corner of her eyes as Celeste lets go of her father's hand and reluctantly walks over to her big sister, her eyes scanning the engraved words. "Is this about the meadow song?"

Soarynn tilts her head at the question, "The meadow song?"

"Uh-huh. The meadow song with the bed of grass. It says: 'Till we meet again in the meadow.' Is that what it's talking about?"

Soarynn honestly hadn't thought of that before. She'd visited her mother's grave countless times when her father was still alive but she never really considered the meaning behind the words that were the last bits of Cera Nightingale. Leave it to a four-year-old to put the pieces together before she did.

"That's a nice way to think of it," she finally says.

The girls whisper a few things to each other and then turn back around, "Can we leave them flowers?"

A smile creeps onto Soarynn's face at their sweet request. She brought flowers in the beginning after her father died, but she stopped after a while. Stopped trying, stopped trying to heal that hole in her heart. But these girls might just be able to fix it.

"We sure can."

The girls smile and take each other's hands to go and pick some flowers growing near the fence. Soarynn watches them and feels his presence next to her, both of them grieving different losses today, "Do you think they're proud of you?"

Soarynn swallows at his question, it's a loaded one but she never had to worry about making her parents proud. That was never the most important thing to her family. "I think they're cheering me on," she answers, finally looking up at him. Even dressed in all black, President Snow is so very handsome. His gaze never wavers away from his girls but she can see how emotionally exhausting this has all been for him.

"I don't think Livia is cheering me on," he says, shaking his head, "I think she's watching me and thinking about what a failure I am to our children."

Soarynn frowns and rests a hand on his arm before she can stop herself and he finally tears his gaze away from the girls to look down at her, piercing blue meeting stormy gray, "You're not a failure," she says softly, "you're a father, and you're trying your best. Just like my father did. He certainly didn't have it all figured out on the first day."

President Snow looks over at her father's tombstone and he furrows his brows, "Your father was a good man. He had it much harder than me, raising an infant while also mourning the death of his wife and yet he never once thought about hiring a nanny. He said you deserved better, that you deserved his attention and he was right," his eyes hold a hint of what might be adoration but Soarynn isn't sure, "you do deserve better Soarynn."

She could blame it on the wind or the cold but Soarynn feels tears burning in her eyes, "You're a good father," she insists, "I've seen it with my own eyes, you love your children and you're trying to do the best by them, even if it means hiring a nanny. Admitting your weaknesses is the first step to getting stronger. You can't be there for them all the time so you found someone who can. That doesn't make you a monster, it makes you human."

She swears she can see a tear roll down his cheek but her vision is pretty blurry from her own tears.

"Sometimes I worry the grief might never leave," he admits, blinking away any possible tears, "not that we had much love for each other to begin with."

Soarynn can hear the girls running back to them, giggling while holding flowers no doubt to decorate her parent's graves. They both look over and watch the girls run to Eudora first, showing her and then Caspian, who's hugged to her hip the flowers. Caspian smiles and reaches down to touch the petals. So young and yet so much life ahead of him, ahead of all of them really.

"The grief might end someday," Soarynn says, "but the love never will."

| Part 5. |

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

{ Part 6. }

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calisources · 9 months ago

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𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑? 𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒.

All these quotes are taken from different media and some made from scratch about the royal succession line and the troubles it brought during a medieval/fantasy period. Change pronouns, names, titles and locations as you see fit.

You poison a king so that they may take his place.

Have no fear, Stark. I was only keeping it warm for our friend Robert. It's not a very comfortable seat, I'm afraid.

I swear to you, sitting a throne is a thousand times harder than winning one.

Seat Stannis on the Iron Throne and I promise you, the realm will bleed.

I will claim the Iron Throne by myself, with your swords and your allegiance.

If Daenerys is no more than a sweet young girl, the Iron Throne will cut her into sweet young pieces.

Princess Catherine. Your loss has endeared you to the people. They share your grief.

You've had your courses for days, but you do not tell anyone. I don't understand.

God would have me wed Prince Harry.

But you are his brother's widow. It is impossible. It is forbidden.

I am every inch the soldier... And commander.

In England, widows don't handle swords, much less a widow carrying a prince in her womb.

And I'll wager that you were praying for a boy.

My mother is already planning my next marriage, though in God's eyes it will be my first marriage.

If you are still a maid, then, Catherine, I can be your husband.

I will raise you up, you... you and all of England. You will be my princess and... and my queen.

Ten years since the king has been on the throne and there is no heir apparent. Only his brother, gods forbid.

Daughters don’t inherit, sons do.

You have a son but you must have a spare too. Gods know what would happen if the boy dies.

The line of succession is clear on these matters. Girls are the last resource.

I am a woman, whoever I marry must be clear on his duty. He is not the crown, I am.

His Majesty has no male heir and will have none but he, Buckingham will succeed to the throne.

By assassinating His Majesty.

Right of Conquest is still a rightful way to gain a throne. Has anyone banned it as a law?

Will you like it when an old man tries to make love to you?

God forbid that the king should abandon her just to ease his own conscience. I don't think the English people would ever forgive him.

She is threatening the peace in this realm by playing the king with empty promises. No one can predict a son.

Perhaps the succession must change, this dynasty is large and will survive.

Your Majesty, I beg that you yield to the King's will.

To your wife, the mother of your child. You treat me so unkindly and in public neglect me.

You think he might invade England in support of the queen?

You underestimate the support he/she has with the smallfolk and highborn alike. They would go to war if you dismiss them.

Perhaps, one day this little girl will preside over empires.

Now I am indeed Queen.

Perhaps Elizabeth isn't even mine!

Perhaps there should be reasons to annul the marriage and make the king consider marry another. He is still young.

Nothing like a young bride to make a man forget his troubles.

He will have his heir or else he will have my head.

Tell Sir Francis to double the guards around the Princess Mary and defend her with their life- for if the King dies, some will be for the boy, others for her.

There shall be a proclamation soon, the king shall announce his heir and the realm will rest.

A lifetime of building an empire can fall in a day because of the wrong successor to the empire.

It is not by blood, anyhow, that man's true continuity is established.

He became their king by right of blood; he's held the position by beating the crap out of anyone who tries to take it away.

When the crown is weak and struggles, anyone can come and sweep it away. And in this world, it is allowed.

This small council tried to work out what that meant for the line of succession.

If she were to wed him, her claim to the throne will increase, as her popularity.

While the king entertains the highborns, the prince/princess makes friends with the people they rule. The decision is easy.

Whoever he marries is as important as how many heirs he can produce.

Sons are good for the realm, Daughters are good for alliances.

My father chose me, his firstborn child, to succeed him. He held to his decision until death.

They stole my crown and murdered my daughter, and they shall answer for it.

I would rather feed my sons to the dragons, than have them carry spears and cups for your drunken, usurper cunt of a king.

I understand why you're angry. And you are my sister and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for someone else to rule. But it can't be you.

Father would hate to see you sit in his seat, when it was never you he chose.

The pretty decent king split the crown between his heirs.

Proclamations are good, but this should have been in written, send to every corner of the world. Now we have war.

When the king needed to be replaced, one of the royal family would be elected to be the new king.

Succession is never peaceful. The King new this and the reason he called a council for his new heir to be chosen.

The line must always continue.

That little bit of dragon blood in him allowed Robert Baratheon to sit on the throne and continue.

Our son is a wastrel and a halfwit. We shudder to think of the throne in his hands.

My greatest hope is that you will surpass me in every way, consigning my name to some forgotten corner of history.

What's most important is what he isn't like—his father. I think you'll find him to be a reasonable man.

The King is easily controlled by those in his council. All too happy to give some of the power away to another.

A king is a martyr to their ideals.

If the world of men is to survive, a Targaryen must be seated on the Iron Throne.

Women can rule as wise as men, perhaps even more.

Men would sooner put the realm to the torch than see a woman ascend the Iron Throne.

Have you never imagined yourself on the Iron Throne?

We have royal wombs, you and I. The child bed is our battlefield.

Ten years you’ve been king, and yet not once have you asked me to be your Hand.

The princess remains your best bet to step closer to the throne. Seduce her, marry her.

In the end, history will remember little, as history is written by the winners.

You have not one son now but two, Your Grace. Perhaps some changes to the successions are to be made.

I know why you are here. Men want my crown as much as they want the pleasure of a woman.

I need to give the realm an heir and plenty of spares.

What use is to gain a throne if you are already in crisis by having no heir by blood?

I can give you what she never gave you. Another son.

Are the rumors true, then? There is a child in your belly?

All of my father’s work will crumble if I leave it all to a weak sickly child.

#roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #medieval meme #tournament meme #tourney meme

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chimcess · 10 months ago

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Waterlog || pjm (2)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.5k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: PINING, sexual tension, sad backstory, parental issues, more than likely bad swimming terminology, probably some bad work out advice, i'm trying my best lol, tae is too much but i love him, talks of past drug use (not reader or jimin), strong language, mental health things, medication use, allusions to depression, did i say pining?, reader is horny and awkward 99% of the time, can we blame her?, mood swings, i think they are so cute together, i promise more romance is coming soon A/N: Howdy. I know we're having a pretty slow start, but I think it'll be worth it in the end. I enjoy a good slow burn, especially when there's so much awkward sexual tension involved. Thanks for reading!!!

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Waking up the next morning, I was greeted by a loud knocking on my door. Stumbling, I told whoever it was that I was on my way. The knocking stopped but was quickly followed by Violet’s loud voice. My things were here, and I needed to let the movers inside.

“Christian and Kook are here already,” She added. “Managed to get an extra pair of hands, too.”

I changed into a pair of jeans and threw on a pull over. It was not supposed to be as cold today, but I did not think a short-sleeved shirt would be enough to keep me warm. Sliding into my boots, I opened the front door.

Violet was there, her hair in a braid again, wearing a blue plaid shirt and bootcut jeans. Beside her was Jimin, a large smile already on his face. Two other men were here. I was certain I had seen one of them before. He was very handsome with a heart shaped face and soft chin, large, asymmetrical brown eyes, and downturned lips. His hair was very obviously dyed, the blue so bright when the sun hit it my eyes hurt.

The other man was less familiar. His hair was black, styled into a trendy wolf cut, with his bangs pulled out of his face into a ponytail. He had a pure, youthful, and elegant look about him, and a few piercings. There was one on his eyebrow, one on his bottom lip, and so many on each ear I could not count them all. If I could describe him in a single word, it would be cartoonish. His eyes took up most of his face, large and doe-like, with all of his other features soft and small. Like the blue haired man, he was very handsome.

This upset me more than it should have, because despite how wonderful they both looked, all I could think about was how much I preferred Jimin. It was incomparable, actually. While they were certainly my type, I could only see how not Jimin-like their features were.

“Good morning,” I greeted them awkwardly, my voice scratchy. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you both.”

“It’s such an honor to meet you,” The blue haired man’s enthusiasm caught me off guard. Despite me never making the move to shake either one of their hands, he reached for mine anyway. He reminded me of a labrador retriever, and I could imagine a tail wagging in time with his vigorous handshake. “I’m Taehyung Kim. I used to watch you, like, all the time back in the day.”

I knew that name. Studying his face a little more, it hit me. Taehyung Kim, a.k.a., The Seal of Michigan, a.k.a, V. I never understood why he had been given that last one, but it must have some sort of meaning to him because the guy lights up when anyone uses it. He was a famous snowboarder and had been to the 2020 winter Olympics. He was just a few months younger than Jimin.

“That’s very kind of you to say,” I gripped his hand back a bit more now. “I watched you at the last Olympics. You did great.”

He blushed and let go of my hand, “I didn’t win anything, but I had a lot of fun.”

That was true. The kid was brand new on the scene and let some of his nerves get to him. I had learned the hard way that hesitation could ruin a great performance, but I was sure he would do better in January. The Winter Olympics were always a few months ahead of summer, and I would surely be watching Taehyung this year. If I was going to spend time with Jimin then I would need to get along with his friends.

“It’s not always about winning,” I tried to comfort him. “I didn’t win every time either.”

That placated him. Jimin quickly introduced me to Jungkook after. He was an NHL player for the Red Wings. I admitted that I had no idea who he was and never really watched hockey before, but that only made Jungkook swear to make me an avid fan before I left Michigan. For some reason, I believed him.

It did not take long for the movers to get all of my furniture and boxes into the house. With the boys’ help, I was tipping the two men much earlier than I anticipated. All three of them insisted on helping me unpack despite me telling them I could do it on my own. The place was entirely too small for the four of us, but we managed to make it work.

I had told them my bedroom was off limits. I unpacked my clothes and put my underwear away. My room was the largest in the house. With enough space for my full-sized bed, nightstands, and dresser, I was pleased. The only downside was not having a closet, but I did not bring anything nice enough for it to really matter. It was inconvenient but not the end of the world.

I was, however, happy to see more color. My blanket was dark orange, pillowcases covered in baby pink cow print, and the otter plushie Namjoon’s mom made me was resting right in between them. I installed some simple shelving above my bed, warmly lit Christmas lights wrapped around the bars, where I displayed my books and a few of my plants. The rest were lined up on the windowsill beside the bed.

Brightly colored art now hung on the walls, a large mirror above my dresser, and a peg board for my earrings made the space feel lived in. Whatever books could not fit on my shelves got stacked and put on the nightstand. I still wanted to buy a rug and curtains, but that was on the bottom of my list of priorities.

The boys were all talking and laughing as they worked which helped me relax. I hated being trapped in quiet spaces. Finished with my room, I went to check in with them and move things around. I doubted any of them would get the knick-knacks just right.

“Don’t worry about the decorations,” I said, announcing my presence. Taehyung was staring at two of my paintings with mild panic. “I’ll take that.”

Snatching the photos, I smiled at him. The living room was coming together nicely. Jungkook pushed the dark green loveseat against the wall and all of my throws were on top of it. My largest potted plant was beside it and I decided then I would keep it there. Moving the throw pillows to the floor, I started to put my wall art up. Hoseok complained that I was going to become a hoarder if I bought any more shit. Andrea, however, said that I had great taste, so I listened to her instead.

“You’re a big face of Earthy colors,” Jungkook said, looking around the house. “Lots of plants, too.”

I shrugged, “My fiancé had a lot of succulents and stuff, so I guess it rubbed off on me after a while.”

In truth, Namjoon not only had succulents and cacti, but an entire apartment filled with plants. He had a small garden in the back, vegetables and herbs growing in despite the weather in Colorado making it difficult. The man had a green thumb and loved taking care of things. I had been in charge of them once we moved in together and learned to love it. Even after he died, I couldn’t imagine not having at least five plants in the house.

I noticed the room had gone eerily quiet. I realized then what I had said. It was the first time I had spoken about Namjoon with any of them. Knowing I had made the atmosphere awkward, I tried to break up the tension.

“What colors do you like, Jungkook?”

I could physically feel the mood lighten.

“Black,” His reply was quick. I groaned. He laughed. “What? I like the clean look.”

“It’s not clean,” I argued. “It’s depressing.”

Taehyung took my side, “My house isn’t as decorated as yours, but I have more going on than either one of them. I’m a huge fan of video games and photography so I have a lot of stuff hanging up.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Jimin chimed in from the bathroom. He placed himself in charge of getting that room squared away. “His place isn’t as nice as yours. It’s all cluttered and disorganized."

“Nu uh,” Taehyung argued childishly.

“Dude, you have stuff everywhere,” Jungkook shot back, handing me another picture frame.

“They’re lying,” Taehyung told me.

“You’re so full of shit, Tae,” Jungkook sighed.

“Literally the dumbest thing to lie about,” Jimin snarkily threw in from the bathroom.

“Bullies,” Taehyung was addressing me again and this time I could not help my chuckles. “They always gang up on me.”

As the boys continued to bicker, I worked. I finished hanging up the art above the sofa and got to organizing the throws. Taehyung had already pulled out my rug, and I started figuring out how I wanted to place all of the floor pillows. Namjoon never used the couch, no one in his family did, and I had become so conscious of their comfort that I always had a large array of pillows on the floor for them to use. After a few years, I had joined them, and I kept up the trend once I moved to the Springs. The sofa was little more than decoration.

“Damn, these are nice.”

Looking over my shoulder, I was surprised to see Jungkook holding up one of my medals. I was positive I had not packed it and the box he was hunched over was completely unfamiliar as well. Embarrassment and anger swelled up in my chest. I had placed Minho and Tilly in charge of coordinating with the movers so I could focus on work and training Hoseok before I left. If I had to guess, Tilly had thought it wise to ship over a large package of my most prized possessions for some God forsaken reason.

“I don’t know why those are here,” I hoped my voice sounded playful and carefree. I did not want another tense moment. “One of my friends must have packed them.”

“Holy shit,” Taehyung was now holding the medal. “These are heavy. You have so many.”

Walking over to the box, I took out the rest of the medals. Tilly had only packed four of the eight Olympic medals I owned, probably running out of room. Framed photos of me swimming, with the rest of my team, and my coach were also in the box. My swimsuit from the last Olympics I competed at was folded at the very bottom of the box, my goggles and cap wrapped up in the fabric, and underneath it was something I had not been expecting. A framed photograph.

I remembered that night as if it were yesterday. I was eighteen coming off the back of two major wins and making my mark in the athletic community. I had just moved to Denver; Victor had gotten divorced the year prior and his ex-wife moved to Colorful Colorado taking his daughter with her. My coach demanded he was close enough to see her every weekend. It really did not matter to me where I lived, so it was one of the easier decisions I had to make.

I knew Hoseok lived in the area, and we had always been friendly at the meets we had in common. I ended up getting his number from Ozzie and after getting coffee I knew we would be friends for life. The picture was taken at his New Year’s Eve Party. I needed to get laid, he had said, and he knew a few guys he thought I might hit it off with. That was where I met Namjoon.

He was a college student, fresh faced and stumbling over his words. I was charmed by him almost instantly, even if Hoseok was positive the two of us were too different to last. I could recall the smell of fireworks in the air, the way his voice cracked whenever another one would go off, and how excited his eyes looked whenever I asked him about his major. Namjoon spoke for hours about Philosophy, all of his favorite poets, and the way he believed the universe worked. He was so clumsy it was practically a disability, and the loud sounds were so nerve wracking, he flinched whenever the fireworks boomed.

Picking up the small picture, I smiled. It was taken right after midnight. Hoseok’s sister said we looked so sweet that she could not help herself. I had all but ripped Namjoon’s hair out when the countdown began, kissing him before midnight ever came. His hands rested gently on my hips, and he huffed like he had run a marathon when we finally pulled apart. His breath was hot when he went back in for more, panting into my mouth as I clung to him like an addict. It was a beautiful moment. It was a moment I would never forget.

Suddenly, I was no longer mad at Matilda. I was sure it had been her who did this. Minho would not go through so much trouble if he thought it would upset me. Either way, I was happy to have the picture. While I was no longer in love with Namjoon, my heart slowly healing itself and making space for someone new, I would never forget our time together. It was too perfect, too magical; too loving to forget.

“Is that him?” Taehyung asked. The way he said it told me that he knew what had happened. I doubted there was a person in our world who didn't know. “The guy who died?”

I nodded, “His name was Namjoon.”

“Damn, that’s rough,” Jungkook’s voice was very gentle, and I could hear the compassion in it. “Sorry to hear that. Hope you’re doing okay.”

I smiled at him and nodded, “It was a few years ago.”

Taehyung was the one who broke the moment this time and I was grateful for the reprieve.

“These aren’t all of them, right?” He pointed at the medals still in the box. "Olympic medals, I mean."

I shook my head, “No but I guess she just grabbed the ones I had at my house. The other four I keep at my school. They’re in a case in my office.”

The ones Tilly had packed away were from 2012. Andrea had been the one to convince me to bring my other medals to school. Before that I had them all stored in a box in the deepest corner of my basement. I hated looking at them. Hated everything that they represented. The only reason these had been hanging up was because I could not be bothered taking them down.

“Where should we put them?” Jungkook asked.

I shrugged, “No idea. Just keep them in the box for now.”

Truthfully, I had no intention of putting them anywhere. While happy to have the photo of Namjoon and I, my feelings on dragging these things around had not changed. I would be very upset if I lost or damaged any of this stuff. Putting everything away, save the picture, I closed the box back up and placed the photo on my coffee table. I would find a better place for it later.

Like all of the times I had been around him, Jimin bled into the background. I listened for his voice, waited for him to add something to the conversation, but he kept to himself. Even when he left the bathroom and joined the three of us, he only answered in one-word sentences and made sound effects to show he was listening. Taehyung and Jungkook seemed used to it, so I had to believe this was just how Jimin normally was.

“You should come and grab some drinks with us,” Jungkook smiled at me.

The boys were going out for a late lunch since we finished a little later than we had thought we would. I was appreciative that they had invited me out but declined the offer. All of them were disappointed.

“Why not?” Taehyung wiggled a large set of keys at me. I could not imagine what all of them could be for and the sound they made when they moved bothered me. “You worried the food’s going to suck or something?”

I shook my head, laughing, “No, it’s nothing like that. I just don’t feel comfortable going to a bar.”

Jimin smiled at me, a small, tight-lipped smile, and I almost laughed at myself when I realized I was holding my breath. I was being ridiculous. I would call Hoseok tonight to get my head screwed back on.

“It’s not a bar,” It was heavenly to hear his voice again. “Taehyung and I don’t drink. Jungkook just likes to sit at the bar so he can watch the games.”

“Oh,” I replied dumbly. “I guess I can come along then.”

Jimin offered to give me a ride while Jungkook and Taehyung rode in the hockey player's beat up Jeep. He was just as quiet on the ride to the restaurant as he was back at the house, and while I wanted to break him out of whatever shell he had put around himself, I had no idea how. We were supposed to work together and barely spoke. Ozzie was not going to be happy about this.

“What time are we getting your car?”

I jumped, not prepared for the question. His eyes were still on the road, and it looked like he was forcing himself to not look my way. It hurt my feelings, but I knew I would have to get over it. Whatever his problem was, it had nothing to do with me and I would not let it get in between our working relationship.

“Whenever you want to go,” I replied, going back to looking out of the window.

“We’ll pick it up after we eat. My mom invited you over for dinner. by the way. If you're up for it.”

This had been the most he had said all day, but his voice was off. It was embarrassing how quickly I had become attuned to his little mannerisms, but I was so sure that something was wrong with him it was eerie. His tone was flat and disinterested, and I knew I had done nothing to upset him. Something was obviously bothering him, and I would have to silently support him in my own way. I was not comfortable being more upfront and something told me that Jimin would not like my overstepping.

“I might,” I purposely kept my tone light, hoping he did not realize I could see the darkness in his eyes. Looking at him, I asked, “What is she making?”

“Beef and radish stew,” The mundane topic seemed to ease his frown. “She got a yellow corvina from the Asian market yesterday so she’s going to roast it. Do you like fish?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It sounds nice. I’ll go.”

A ghost of a smile graced his pretty face and I felt like I had won the lottery. Carefully composed, I looked back out of the window, hiding my little smile behind my hand. He was quiet again, the only sounds in the car being our breathing, but it felt lighter. Finally, I let myself admire the scenery.

Taehyung and Jungkook were already at the bar when we arrived and as soon as we sat down, the snowboarder was quick to hog all of my attention. While Jungkook watched a baseball game on the big screens, Taehyung talked animatedly about his family. Jimin was quietly sipping on a Coke in the seat next to me. It was strange to see how easily his friends ignored him. Like they knew he did not feel like talking.

“My sisters are both in college,” Taehyung continued to ramble. “Twins. It was a nightmare being the baby brother.”

I nodded along and tried my best to keep up with him. I kept getting distracted by Jimin. He barely moved and seemed to be mindlessly watching the tv. He looked so sad it broke my heart. Still, no one else said anything so I kept my thoughts to myself.

“Oh!” Taehyung gasped, noticing a few people who walked in. “I’m going to go say ‘hi.’ It was so great meeting you.”

With a bright smile, Taehyung told the boys about the group and Jungkook decided to join him. Jimin did not even acknowledge he had said anything. Leaving us alone, the restaurant was loud and filled with their chattering.

“Are you hungry?” I asked, trying to make conversation. Picking up the menu the bartender had left with Taehyung when we first arrived, I gave it a quick once over. “We can split an appetizer.”

Jimin looked tired and sad, but I did not know what to say or do for him. We were not lovers, not even friends. We were a pair of strangers who were expected to work together. This seemed much easier over the phone. I took a nervous sip of my drink.

“What are you thinking?” Just the sound of him talking eased my anxiety.

“Uh,” I had barely looked at their menu and pointed to a random item. “Fried pickles?”

Jimin smiled lazily and looked at me, his eyes amused.

“You don’t sound very sure of yourself.”

I shrugged, embarrassed. “I just said the first thing I saw.”

Putting his cup down, Jimin grabbed the menu from my hands and laid it flat on the bar. We leaned over the small paper, our knees touching. I could smell his cologne now and my mouth watered. He smelled so good I struggled to focus.

“Most of the shit here is awful,” His voice had more life in it now and I was glad to see the corners of his mouth pulled up. “Only things worth getting are the chips and salsa, fried cheese, and pasties. The pizza is fine, too, but not worth the money.”

Talking distracted him from whatever had been on his mind, and it made Jungkook and Taehyung’s behavior odd. They were obviously very close, but if I could see how much happier he looked when he was shooting the shit, how couldn’t they? They probably knew something I didn’t, but it did nothing but rub me the wrong way. My friends would annoy me until I had no choice but to talk back.

“Chips are usually pretty safe,” We both agreed on it. “Do you just want chips? I don’t mind getting you a burger or something.”

He shook his head, “Like I said, most of the shit here is awful. Don’t waste your money.”

I ordered the chips for us, and the bartender was happy to help us out. This place was pathetically empty save us and the group Jungkook and Taehyung ditched us for. They were very loud and rowdy, something Jimin said was completely normal. Apparently, they all knew one another but he hadn’t felt like spending time with any of them.

“Are you feeling alright?” I asked, heart pounding. My anxiety over the question was ridiculous, but I felt like this was a good moment to ask. We were both comfortable and the tightness around his eyes was finally eased.

“Just one of those days,” He replied, voice soft.

I sighed, “I get them, too. They’re the fucking worst.”

He chuckled darkly, “It’s like you wake up and that’s already taken all of the energy you had for the day.”

“Why’d you come to the house?” I asked, flagging the bartender for a refill. “I wouldn’t have been upset if you bailed.”

Jimin flushed, “I said I was coming so I came.”

No, I thought, you thought I was going to be mad if you hadn’t shown up. Hamilton had this poor kid so fucked up and scared it pissed me off. As long as I knew Matt, he had always been an ass, but to think he had his trainee putting shit before his mental health and wellbeing made whatever sliver of respect I had for him vanish.

I took a long sip of my drink, “We can’t work together if you don’t talk to me. That will piss me off way more than you canceling on me.”

“Okay,” He let out a very large breath. “I’ll let you know next time.”

As we ate our chips, we moved into safer waters. Jimin was still less talkative in person, but nowhere near as tense as he had been all morning. I found that music was one of his favorite things, and I discussed my own interests in more depth and detail than I ever had before. Jimin’s taste was varied but stuck mostly in 90s R&B and soft Indie artists I had never heard of. At some point I ordered spicy wings and had to admit Jimin was right- they really were awful.

We left the other two behind to go and pick up my car. Jungkook and Taehyung seemed more than happy to watch us leave and the large table barely acknowledged my presence. Jimin accepted their happy shouts when he approached, hugging the ones who stood up to greet him, and forced one of his small, pitiful smiles at a particular brunette who kept batting her eyelashes at him. He introduced me but none of them seemed to really care. Especially the brunette.

“Let me get your number,” Taehyung said to me, holding out a hand for my phone. “We need to hang out again.”

I was nervous about giving him a way to contact me. He reminded me of Tilly, though ten times more energetic, and she always found a way to get on my nerves (the box being one of many examples). Taehyung had yet to overstep the imaginary boundaries I had, but his complete lack of personal space etiquette was astounding. He touched me more in one day than any of my friends in an entire year. He seemed like the type of person to text every day and send a million pictures of himself doing random shit. Even with that in mind, I handed my phone over. He was too nice to say no to.

“Do you like sushi?” Taehyung asked, handing me my phone. “There’s a great place in Detroit we can go to.”

The idea of being trapped in a car with the snowboarder for 45 minutes was not appealing. I could only imagine how much he could talk when he was really excited about something. I would entertain the idea if Jungkook or Jimin came as a buffer, especially if one of them could sit up front. Taehyung yapping away in my ear would give me the biggest migraine I had ever had, and my anxiety over not being entirely focused on the road would make me snippy and rude.

“Only if I can come,” Jungkook piped up. “You’re not going to Bash without me, dude.”

“Well yeah,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Y/N has to meet Milo and Darcy,” He looked at me, grinning happily. “I think you would really get along.”

I had no idea who either of those people were, but I did not want to ask any questions. Jimin was inching back towards me and telling the others goodbye, and I did not want to hold him up. Taehyung started making plans that I did not pay any attention to. He could always text me when he figured out what he wanted.

“We have to get going,” Jimin was back beside me. “Y/N’s car is sitting at the dealership. It was good seeing everyone.”

I waved at the table and started walking away before Taehyung could touch me. He was definitely a hugger. Jimin was quick to catch up with me, giggling about my “escape.” It had started to snow again, gentle flurries twisting and turning in the wind, and I had forgotten my heavy jacket at home. The long sleeve I was wearing would do nothing to keep me warm.

“Here,” Jimin taking off his jacket. “You need this more than me.”

Draping it over my shoulders, Jimin told me to zip it up. Stunned, I moved on autopilot and shoved my arms through the sleeves. Everything smelled like him, oranges and spice, and his warmth was still clinging to the thick fleece. I could not remember the last time someone had given me their jacket. Dazed, I followed Jimin out to the parking lot, eyes locked on his back. He was in nothing but a thin, black and white striped shirt.

“Thanks,” I said once we were both in the truck, already shrugging out of the light beige jacket. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He held up a hand, “Keep it. The heater is out.”

I shook my head, “What about you?”

He reached into the back and held up a purple hoodie.

“I’ll be alright.”

I put the jacket back on and buckled in. Jimin slipped into the sweatshirt and started the truck. After buckling up, he backed out of the parking lot. I caught sight of the brunette as we left. She was red faced, shouting into her phone. I looked away. Whoever she was angry with was definitely getting an earful.

“Wonder what Tom did this time,” Jimin mumbled.

“Hm?”

“Tom’s Annie’s boyfriend,” He supplied. “They’re always arguing. Worse than Jungkook and Darcy, they break up every other week, but Tom and Annie are at each other's throats every other day.”

I grimaced, “Sounds like my friends. They finally called it quits last year, but they were insufferable.”

Jimin chuckled, “So, what’s Colorado like?”

I talked to him about Andrea and Seokjin first, how we met and how much I loved their daughter. Hoseok and I’s friendship got quite a few laughs out of him, but those quickly died off when I brought up Namjoon. I told him about the day we met and the coffee date that happened a few days later, and that seemed to brighten up the mood again. Namjoon stories were bittersweet but took up such a large chunk of my life it was impossible to gloss over.

“When’s the toxic couple coming up?” He joked.

“I’m getting there,” I replied.

Hoseok and Matilda had known one another longer than the rest of us. Growing up together, no one was surprised when they finally hooked up in high school. It was, however, short lived bliss. Matilda got caught up in the wrong crowd and began doing drugs. Hoseok had tried to help her get through it, but they could never see eye-to-eye. That started their toxic cycle of getting back together, Tilly going to rehab, her relapsing, and them falling out again. It was not until she went two years ago that it managed to stick, but their relationship was too tumultuous to make it very far. They decided to stay friends and she became a constant member in our group.

“That’s crazy,” Jimin shook his head. “Happy she’s doing better now.”

“Me too.”

The rest of the drive was spent talking about Colorado and how beautiful it was. He stayed away from swimming, mostly wanting to hear about the school I worked at and the places I went to in my free time. He kept me talking for the entire 45-minute car ride, question after question keeping me on my toes. He did not like talking about himself, whenever I tried to switch the conversation to his own interests he barely responded before going back to his interrogation. Before I knew it, we were pulled into the dealership and getting down.

“You can leave,” I told him.

“I want to make sure you’re good before I go,” He replied.

The cashier was lovely, her voice bubbly and sweet as she helped me out. Jimin lingered longer than he needed to, helping me fill out my paperwork and making small talk with the dealer. I took my keys and went for a quick test drive before I was finally able to convince Jimin to leave.

The drive back was quiet. I was used to the silence when I drove, but Jimin’s voice had been soothing. Frankly, I was a bit bored without him around. I decided to call Matila and ask about my medals. She apologized but I doubted how sincere she actually was. After catching up with her, hearing all about the guy she went on a date with, and a five-minute rant about Hoseok spending way too much money on Minho’s birthday present, I hung up before she could give me a migraine. As much as I liked Tilly, she was someone I had very little patience for and her voice, high pitched and loud, was like nails on a chalkboard.

I got back in town a little after 3. Violet and Calvin were both home and watching some black and white Western. Calvin offered to make me lunch, but I was quick to decline. I just wanted some space.

As soon as I got in my apartment, I curled up in bed to take a nap. I was overwhelmed after talking so much and desperately needed to recharge. I set an alarm for 5 so I could make it over to the Park house in time for dinner. Quickly sending a quick text to Hoseok, I turned on thunderstorm sounds and closed my eyes.

Na-Yeon and James were both excited to see me, talking about their days and asking how I was settling in. Eloise was there as well, the twins in the back room playing again. Jimin was going to be late. He had gone for a last-minute swim with Milo. When I asked them who that was, it was Eloise who answered.

“That’s Vincent’s fiancé.”

“Who?” I was even more confused.

“Taehyung,” Na-Yeon answered. “You know he hates that name as much as Jimin hates his, Lou."

Eloise blushed, her entire face turning a bright shade of red.

“Sorry,” She scratched behind her ear. Looking back at me, she sighed, “We went to school together. Old habit.”

Now V made sense. It never occurred to me that Jungkook and Taehyung could have their own American names, and neither one introduced themselves that way either. James came to take the seat beside mine, the dining table more crowded then was reasonably necessary.

“Does Jungkook have a second name?” I asked.

“Ian,” Eloise replied. “He goes by both, so I don’t think he cares as much as Tae and Jimin. I know his girlfriend uses both.”

I assumed that was Darcy. Why else would Taehyung assume she would go with us on a day trip to Detroit?

“They call him Ian on the team, too,” James chimed in. “His name is too hard.”

Namjoon never had an American name, at least, not one I had ever heard. The only person I could think of was Hoseok. A lot of his friends called him Jay, something about an old nickname from school, but that was it. Seokjin just went by Jin, Namjoon went by Joon, and Minho went by…well, Minho. None of their parents used American-Friendly names, and Seokjin’s father’s English was still poor even after living here for so long.

“Y/N,” Na-Yeon brought me back to the conversation. “What banchan do you like?”

“My eomeo-nim made these delicious, braised potatoes,” I answered, thinking back on our dinners together. “Kimchi, of course. My ex made the best braised lotus roots. They were always yummy.”

Na-Yeon seemed pleased by my answer. James and Eloise started rambling about their own favorites. Unlike Namjoon, Mr.Park was a big fan of seafood. He grew up in Busan near the Jagalchi Market, which, according to him, was the largest seafood market in South Korea. Eloise talked a little about her favorite Korean dishes before jumping into what she grew up eating. Her father was Scottish and her mother French, so one night she was eating Scottish Pie and daube niçoise the next. It was fun hearing more about Eloise. I would have never guessed she was a first generation American.

“It’s something Tony and I had in common,” She added. “He learned quite a bit of French before he died. Unfortunately, my Korean is taking much longer.”

“Mine isn’t that great either,” I admitted. “Namjoon’s family spoke English and never liked to make me feel awkward. I can follow a conversation fairly well, but only if you speak slowly.”

James laughed, “I will remember that.”

The front door opened, and I could hear loud talking. Eloise sighed. Whoever was with Jimin did not pass her inspection it would seem. She and James seemed to have a small conversation with their eyes. The men were still at the front of the house. Finally, Eloise looked away and scowled.

“Must have brought Milo and Tae over,” She muttered. “I’m going to go check on the twins.”

Eloise left the table. James told me to ignore her. She and Milo did not get along for whatever reason and she chose to ignore him. It was not my business, so I accepted that explanation.

I prepared myself for a bad interaction. So far, Eloise was such a quiet and sweet person I could not imagine anyone actively disliking her. Then again, this was Taehyung’s fiancé, and he was the nicest, most bubbly person I had ever met. It did not seem likely that he would hang around bad company. It could just be a case of personalities clashing.

“Annyeong,” Taehyung greeted us brightly, immediately finding me. “Babe, come say hi.”

A massive, pale man followed in behind him. Milo was a good-looking guy, bright blue eyes and dirty blonde hair, with a solid build. He reminded me of the male swimmers I worked with, his huge size and bulging muscles intimidating. His fashion sense was not as good as Taehyung’s. Ill-fitting black bottoms and a Rick and Morty t-shirt that made me want to roll my eyes. I was definitely biased, my loyalties already in Eloise’s corner. I did not need to know a backstory to be weary. The dude looked enough like Matthew Hamilton to make me dislike him just off principal.

“Milo, Y/N,” Taehyung introduced, gesturing between the two of us. Behind him, Jimin snuck into the kitchen and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek as a greeting. He looked nice in his gray tracksuit. “Y/N, this is my fiancé, Milo.”

I managed a disingenuous smile, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” He replied. His voice was smokey.

“Where’s Lou?” Jimin asked, coming around to greet his father.

“Checking on Harper and Cam,” James told him.

There was not enough room for all of us to sit at the table and I ended up giving up my seat to Na-Yeon. Jimin helped her set the table while I was put in charge of gathering Eloise and the kids. Walking down the hallway, I found the kids’ playroom and knocked.

“Dinner’s ready,” I announced, poking my head inside.

The room was bigger than I thought it would be. Each side was decorated in stereotypical boy and girl colors, Cameron’s bed and wall art a wide variety of blues and teals with dinosaur decals on the walls, while Harper’s was a mix up of baby pink and white. Her bed had more stuffed animals on it than I could count and all of them seem well loved. Their toys split the room in half, a large, circle rug in the middle of it all. Most of the toys were thrown on the floor and Eloise was telling them it was time for them to clean it up.

The children looked so cute in their little matching outfits. Harper’s black hair was braided down her back and the ribbon tied at the end of it matched her cream-colored overalls. Cam’s hair was on the longer side as well, falling to his shoulders with a slight wave. His bright red converse stuck out against the rather plain outfit he was wearing, and I had to assume he put up a fight behind them. Harper started to sing the Barney song as they cleaned.

“Feeling, okay?” I asked their mother. She was sitting in the chair on Harper’s side. “You ran off pretty quickly.”

She shook her head, “It’s nothing. We’ve never gotten along.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Do you want to eat here? I’ll sit with you.”

She smiled, “We can play nice, don’t worry. Thanks, though. I appreciate you asking.”

Dinner was as uneventful as Eloise said it would be. She and Milo greeted one another and then acted as if the other did not exist. I stood up to eat, Taehyung, Milo, and Jimin with me while the others sat down. Cam was excited to talk about school and Harper rambled on and on about her imaginary friend Butter Squash. They were both very sweet and it made me miss Dani. The last time I saw her was when we went skating the weekend before I left.

Taehyung was as talkative as ever. His touches also become bolder. By the time I left, he had an arm around my shoulders and his body pressed against my side. Milo was unbothered by our closeness. He and Jimin spoke the most and again the guy I knew when no one else was around seemingly vanished. This one was too put together, too closed off, and no one, and I mean no one, seemed to care. Every time he laughed half-heartedly or nodded along with whatever Milo was talking about, I felt more confused. Why was he so hot and cold all of the time?

During my drive back home, I tentatively attempted to listen to the radio. I only lasted around a minute or so before I switched it off. I needed silence. The Parks were such a lovely family, but tonight was too much. Between unpacking and Taehyung, I was drained. Hoseok had asked me to call him when I got home but I was going to wait. If it was important enough, he would call me himself.

I fell asleep as soon as my face hit the pillow, my medication making it a dreamless night.

The rest of the week was quiet. I called my friends back home to check in Thursday morning and was happy about Hoseok’s progress. The kids were really liking him, and he thought he may have a permanent job for next year if I decided to keep working with Jimin. I told him not to get his hopes up.

Jimin and I spoke through text daily. He was still going about his normal routine while I brainstormed training and scheduling. By Saturday I was ready to start testing out different ideas. We both seemed eager to get started, actually. Sunday, like I expected, was very quiet. That was his mom’s day, so I tried not to bother him. Violet and Calvin kept me company.

The Andersons were nice people. Violet was always coming to the back and inviting me to join them for breakfast, and her husband enjoyed asking me about my life. Calvin was far more personable than his wife was, but they managed to balance one another out. Sunday evening was the first time I noticed Calvin’s memory issues. He had no idea who I was. I came inside and Violet had to tell him I was their daughter Nancy’s babysitter. He was under the assumption that she was still 10. I left them alone when Violet asked me to pick her up from school. She came out back a few hours later to thank me for going along with everything, and I made sure that she had my phone number in case she needed me to help out if things got out of hand.

It was still dark outside when I left Monday morning. Jimin and I agreed to meet up at 6 am to start our day, but I wanted to get to the gym early. Time to set up and get myself in the right headspace was important to me.

The location he had sent me was more remote than I had originally anticipated. Jimin owned the little gym. It had been a swim school in the past and the place he had first learned he loved the water. He and his mom went to classes together when he was young. The place had been too expensive for the previous owners to keep up with and they were planning on selling it, but Jimin bought it off of them and converted it into a public gym/pool.

In our text exchanges he called it his retirement plan, but I was sure the place meant more to him than that. He had no interest in it until after the cancer diagnosis. If I was to over analyze it, I would say he was trying to hold onto a happy memory. This was their place before sickness and death ran through his family. I would imagine anyone would want to keep something that held so much sentimental value if they could.

Pulling into the parking lot, I was first struck by two things. One, it was open and there were people inside, and two, it was huge. Most of the building was nothing but windows giving me a great view of the muscled men inside. Bright fluorescent lights made my sensitive eyes hurt, and I could hear the faint sound of music coming from somewhere near the gym. The small group of men were together, all of them lifting and spotting each other while talking, and a sense of dread filled my belly.

I was always anxious when I went to a new place, but a new gym was a nightmare. I had bad experiences in the past. Overly friendly creeps who liked to stand around and watch me while I worked out. None of the guys inside gave off bad vibes, but I was still in my car and none of them laid their eyes on me. A woman in a gym was like a drop of blood in water. I had to hope they were not sharks.

Gathering courage, I grabbed my duffle and made my way inside. A pretty, dark-skinned, young woman was sitting at the receptionist desk, and I felt more at ease. If they left her alone then maybe they would not cause me too much trouble either. The music was louder inside, and I recognized the Ciara song. It was a great one for cardio. Fighting the urge to dance, I greeted the receptionist. She put down her magazine and gave me an award-winning grin. She had a nice, dimpled smile.

“Hi there,” She had a thick, Southern accent and I could not tell you where she might be from. I was awful at telling them apart. “Do you have your membership card?”

I laughed nervously, my grip on my bag tightening. “No. I’m here to train with Jimin Park. He said I should have something on file.”

She nodded, her smile unwavering as she looked at her computer and asked for my name.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” I replied, foot tapping along to the Lil Wayne song that came on. I had this one on my own workout playlist back in 2008. I could not help mumbling the words under my breath, “She-she-she lick me like a lollipop.”

“Found you,” The girl grabbed a few sheets of paper from a pile on her side of the desk. “Just fill these out for me and we’ll get your card printed. Your fees have been paid already so no need to worry about that.”

I nodded, half listening. This song was great. Why has it been so long since I last heard it? I went to the gym all the time. I needed to put it back on my playlist. Honestly, the entire Carter III needed to find its way back into my rotation.

“My name’s Giselle if you need anything,” The receptionist pointed to a cluster of chairs right at the front entrance. “You’re super early so Christian isn’t here yet, but I’ll give you the key to the pool room so you can do whatever you need before the boss gets in.”

I smiled at her, “Thank you, Giselle.”

“Anytime, ma’am.”

It took me a few minutes to fill the paperwork out and scan my ID, but Giselle made everything as quick as she could. One of the men working out had come by to ask for some wipes to clean off a few of the machines but left without anything more than a ‘good morning’ thrown in my direction. When we passed by the rest of them on the way to the pool house, we were completely ignored, so it was safe for me to say that they would not be a problem for me in the future. Creeps were never subtle about their creepiness.

“I have to double check with Christian, but I think I’m supposed to give you a spare key,” Giselle said, unlocking the pool. “I’m just going to be sure before I promise you anything. Don’t want to get fired.”

I could tell she was joking. Jimin did not strike me as the type of guy to fire anyone over something like that. It only made sense for me to have a spare key since we would be coming around so much, and I would feel bad about disrupting the staff whenever I needed to get inside. They did not get paid enough to deal with that on top of all of the rest of their duties.

“We keep it locked until 9,” Giselle continued, leading the way inside. “Then we close it back up at 5. Maintenance comes in every Tuesday to treat the water, so you’ll have to be out of here no later than 7. Boss man knows this already so you shouldn’t have any problems with that.”

The pool room was very bland and bare bones. The smell of chlorine hung heavily in the air while the lights around the pool walls illuminated the dark room. It was very big, and I itched to go for a quick dip. The coolness of the water would be nice against my skin. I had grown hot with nerves and gotten a little sweaty.

“We have a few other staff members that will be in around the same time the boss man comes in,” Giselle continued to give me the rundown. “I’m sure he’ll introduce you to everyone just in case you need anything. I’d say make nice with Yoongi first. He’s our in-house massage therapist.”

Pointing to a door on the far-left wall, Giselle let me know that was the pool locker room and the door right next to it was a shortcut to the back offices. Management, marketing, and facility supervisors were usually all back there and I would more than likely never see them. They were not the most social people and worked from home a lot. I could tell by Giselle’s voice that she did not particularly care for management.

“Drew should be here by now,” She checked her smart watch. “She’s the general manager. I’m going to go and grab her and see about that key. She might come back to say ‘hi’ but don’t hold your breath.”

I chuckled, “That bad?”

Giselle rolled her eyes, “Drew’s fine, but Dominic is usually following her around everywhere and he’s annoying. You’ll get what I mean if you ever see them together.”

I laughed, “I’ve had my fair share of weirdos. Thanks again. I appreciate you showing me around.”

She beamed, “It wasn’t a problem. You gave me a reason to get up from the desk, so I’d say it’s a win.”

We spoke for a few more minutes until a very large, bulky man popped his head in looking for her. His black t-shirt clung to him tightly and his shorts were a hideous neon pink color. He did have a nice smile, one that took up most of his face and teeth so white they looked fake. Giselle introduced me very quickly, and the man, Sam, turned out to be one of the personal trainers on staff.

“You’re the Olympian, right?” Sam asked. Jimin must really like people who talked a lot, because I had never met more outgoing people in my life before moving here. Everyone he surrounded himself with was just full of energy, and I wondered if it was purposeful. Jimin himself was a rather quiet and sad person. “Jimin talks about you all the time.”

I laughed awkwardly, face heating, “That’s me.”

“Sick,” Suddenly an image of Sam surfing in California flashed through my mind. He just seemed like the type. “Well, I have to go and help out a client, but it was nice meeting you. Gigi, can you go back up front before Drew pitches a fit?”

Giselle sighed heavily, “Tell her I’m coming,” Looking at me she asked if I was okay on my own. “Come and get me if you need anything, okay?”

After assuring her that I was fine, Giselle left behind Sam. The two of them bickered like an old married couple, and I wondered about their relationship. He did call her a little nickname. I shook my head. Regardless, I had other things I needed to take care of before I could get lost in thought about two strangers.

Unpacking my duffle, I threw on my whistle and stopwatch before getting to work on my schedule. I had brought a lot of my personal swimming gear with me like training bands, coach communicator, and forearm fulcrum. Back in the day, I was the brand ambassador for Finis, so I had a lot of their products. The tracksuit I was wearing was from Speedo, and I had so much of their stuff for the same reason. Being a famous swimmer had its perks.

I had planned on doing a lot of drill and some short-burst efforts with Jimin. He had been without a PT for a few weeks now, and while I trusted him to stay in shape, it was no secret someone would be performing less on their own than with guidance. I did not want to over work him when he was, for all intents and purposes, been on a vacation. So, while I wanted to rush head-first into training, I would try to ease into things a bit before going full asshole on the kid. Like Victor would say, “Three times a week for three weeks.” After that, he was going to be at my mercy.

It was just past 6 when Jimin walked into the pool room. I was flipping through my training plan for the day and humming along to the music blasting through the speakers, echoing off the walls. Whoever was in charge of the playlist had a thing for the early 2000s.

“Morning,” His soft voice brought a smile to my face. He sounded tired. “What do you think about the place?”

Stealing a look at him, I had to hold back the gasp that I wanted to let out. He was wearing a black tank top and shorts giving me a great look at his skin. Embarrassed by my reaction, I internally scolded myself. I needed to get over this crush already. I was about to see a lot more of his body once he went to the back to change. I bit my lip. I had no idea how I was going to deal with him in a speedo.

“It’s very nice,” I was happy with how nonchalant I sounded. “Wasn’t expecting it to be so big.”

I wonder what else is big… I nibbled on the inside of my cheek. I really needed to get my mind out of the gutter. Scratch that- I should have dealt with this problem the second I realized it was there. I was going to force myself to call Hoseok today. He would know what to do, and if not, at least I could vent a little.

“Sleep okay?”

I jumped out of my ever-degrading thoughts.

“Yeah,” I sniffed. “Had fun with your mom? I wanted to give you two some space, so I stayed to myself.”

He smiled and I melted. Yeah, this needed to stop. I was too grown to be acting like this around a man.

“I appreciate it. We missed you at dinner, though. My dad kept complaining that things were quiet now.”

I chuckled, “Eloise and the kids not loud enough?”

He shook his head, “She didn’t come over.”

He tossed his sports bag next to mine and pulled out his swim gear. I caught a flash of his speedo and quickly looked away. The visuals going through my mind were distracting enough.

“Do you want to go over everything before I get changed?” Asked Jimin.

I shook my head, “No, go ahead. It’s going to be a chill day.”

“You got it, coach.”

I did not breathe until I heard the locker room door slam shut. Tossing my clipboard onto my bag, I roughly rubbed my face. I needed to pull myself together.

My attraction was easy to ignore and forget about when he was not in my face, but the second I got my eyes on him it was all I could focus on. I was awkward and fumbling all over the place whenever he was around. I focused on him far too much, far more than I should be due to our relationship, and it was driving me insane. I needed to take a breather, but I did not have enough time and I did not want to make him worried. Jimin seemed like the type of person who would become consumed by anxiety if he thought I was upset with him in any way. No, I would have to suck it up and get through this training session like an adult.

The locker room door opened. Jimin’s bare feet were loud against the gray, stone floor. I refused to look at him. I wasn’t ready yet. Bending over, I grabbed the clipboard and cleared my throat. I was hoping to get him in the water first, and then I could safely conduct myself in a professional way. The less skin I had to see at a time the better. I pointed at the pool.

“Like I said, it’s going to be an easy day,” He was walking away from me, and I felt the tightness in my chest lighten. “You’ve been without a trainer for a bit, and I’m not sure how intense your workouts have been since. Your warmup is just 10 minutes of easy swimming, and then we’ll go over our main set.”

I heard him get into the water with a splash and relaxed. I could handle him in the water. No one looked good with those stupid goggles on. I walked to the edge of the pool, clipboard in my hand, and stole a quick look.

As suspected, he did not look as potent like this. His hair was hidden beneath a red and white cap, and blue goggles obstructed most of his face. It was impossible to make out most of his body as he glided through the water, but I got a great look at his arms. He was more muscular than I gave him credit for. He was smaller and more lean than other swimmers, but I could see why he was able to dominate.

He was very fast, but I could already tell he was pushing harder than I wanted him to. Blowing my whistle, I let him know I only wanted him swimming at 80% effort. Jimin pulled a face and lifted his goggles up. Now that he was stagnant, I got a clear look at his chest and swallowed thickly. He needed to start moving or else I might have a heart attack.

“Why?” He was incredulous.

“Like I said, I don’t want you to overwork yourself. You’ve been on a vacation for four weeks now and we need to work our way back up to more intensive sets. It’ll only be for a couple of weeks.”

He pushed back again, “I’ve been coming here every day for hours. I think I’m fine.”

I shook my head, “I’m not trying to be a dick, and I’m not calling you a liar, but I am skeptical of the quality of the training.”

“But-”

“I haven’t been here to see your routine,” I cut him off before whatever smart ass comment he was planning to say could even come out. Jimin’s annoyance was plain as day, and I was not about to put up with a tantrum. “I’m known for being a hard ass, and I’m going to push you harder than you’ve ever been pushed before. You can ask Coach Bunch about me if you want. I will make sure you’re in the best shape of your life this year, but not at the expense of getting you injured.”

He took a deep breath before responding, “With all due respect, I’ve been putting in a lot of work by myself. I don’t think I need kid gloves.”

I smirked, cocking my head to the side. “Is that what you think this is?”

“Isn’t it?” He shrugged, pouting.

He was cute when he was mad.

“Humor me,” I replied. “We do things my way for the week and if I think you’re good to go by Friday then we’ll get back to normal training. How does that sound?”

Jimin thought for a moment before smiling at me.

“I can live with that.”

I chuckled, “Good to know. Now, put your goggles back on and finish your warmup. We’re wasting time arguing.”

As I suspected, once we started our drills, he did not perform up to the standards I had for him. Even at 75% what he was capable of, I could already see the areas he needed to work on. His butterflies were beautiful, but I could pick apart his breast and back strokes. I was happy with his free swim at the end, and I was going to start there the next session. I was hoping by starting off with compliments that we could become more comfortable with one another before I had to get serious. Those breast strokes would drive me insane until he could execute them perfectly every time.

“How am I doing?” Jimin asked during a cool down, doing a few laps before we started our drills again. “I know my breast strokes aren’t that great. I’ve always struggled with them.”

At least he was self-aware, I thought.

“We definitely have stuff to work on,” I replied. “Don’t worry too much about that right now. We can start talking about it more next week.”

He sighed, annoyed, and I laughed. He was very grumpy when it came to his swimming. Not wanting to upset him again, I decided to give him something.

“I would like to watch you swim a bit more and make a plan before giving you my opinion. My coach used to do that with me, and I found it helpful.”

We trained until eight-thirty, and I looked over my notes while Jimin cooled down. We did not talk as much as I would have liked, but it was probably for the best. His body was distracting, and I did not think I was doing a very good job at hiding my reactions to him. He did not seem to notice, or he was simply sparing my feelings, either way he was happy to keep relatively quiet. We only talked about training while he was in the water, and I was grateful he was maintaining his professionalism.

“When will we be back again?” Jimin asked, his last few minutes running down on the timer. “You said Wednesday, right?”

I nodded absentmindedly, in my own little world as I flipped through my notes. I had more than I thought I would have, all of them having to do with fixing his form and how we could go about it. New exercises, grueling training days, and a few new tools that I was not sure he had ever used before, would mold him into a swimmer I would glow with pride over. Park had always been a talented man, but I wanted to see if we could reach for something more. Something bigger and better than he could have imagined. I wanted to make Matthew fucking Hamilton look like the incompetent bastard I knew him to be.

“We’re done for the day,” I sighed, clicking the alarm off. “Do you want me to come for your night swim?”

Jimin ripped the goggles off, rubbing his eyes and already going to release his cap. I bit down on the inside of my mouth. He was so pretty and soft, and the way his muscles flexed as he swam to the edge of the pool made my stomach flutter. I looked away before he hoisted himself out of the water. I did not need that image floating around in my already depraved head.

“You can come if you want,” He replied casually. “I’m mostly hitting the gym when I’m here in the evenings. I only take a dip for thirty minutes and leave.”

I hummed, fighting the urge to look at his body. I focused instead on my breathing and writing down what he had just said. I did not want to forget that. It might be useful for me in the future. If we could exercise together, it would give me an opportunity to guide him through some of my favorite tricks to help with swimming.

“Will someone else be with you?”

“Probably Jungkook and Darcy. They’re my usual gym buddies when Milo is working.”

“Darcy’s his girlfriend, right?” I wanted to see if my hunch from the other night was right.

“Yeah. They’ve been going out for a couple of years now. She’s alright. Not as shy as you.”

I snorted, “You think I’m shy?”

Then I made a critical mistake. Looking over at Jimin, I nearly choked on my own spit. His skin was perfectly smooth, not a blemish in sight, and cream-colored. His body was just as pretty as his face, smooth abs and a tiny waist that led to toned and thick thighs. The tiny scrap of red fabric covering his private area did not stop my eyes from glancing. I looked away before I started to stare.

Hoseok was going to have a field day with this.

“I know you are,” He teased, his voice so soft and sweet. I briefly wondered what he would sound like in bed. I fought desperately to rid myself of that imagery. This could not be happening right now. “You’re so shy you can’t even look at me right now.”

His cocky attitude should have annoyed me, but instead it only further fueled my lust. Every time I had seen this man, he gave me such tonal whiplash it was beginning to drive me insane. First it was this innocent little angel facade that quickly became sarcastic and witty when he decided he could play around without me getting angry. Then it was the whole sad puppy thing he had going on for the last week. Now here he was, practically naked and getting riled up over me telling him what to do, and puffing his chest with confidence I never thought he was capable of. It would have pissed me off if I did not find him ridiculously attractive.

“Go get dressed, Park,” My voice was clipped and too harsh. I winced and quickly worked to soften the blow. Getting defensive only made me look worse. “We can get breakfast if you’re not busy. My treat.”

“Sure, coach.”

When I heard the locker room close, I let out a deep sigh. My sexual frustration was getting in the way of my work, and I hated it. Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I sent Hoseok a text.

Me: I think I’m crushing on Park

Me: Help me get rid of it

The reply did not come until I was done packing up my things. The workout stuff I had brought with me had been useless today, but I was afraid of forgetting where they were the next time I might need them, so they never left the bag. My phone vibrated just as I was done zipping up my bag. I could hear the shower in the locker room and clenched my thighs together. I was still thinking of how pretty his belly was, the tattoo on his ribs pitch-black against his pale skin, and how solid his calves looked. I unlocked my phone and nearly cried laughing when I saw the response.

Hobi: HAHAHAHA

Hobi: Sex is always the answer

Hobi: Never thought I’d see the day you became a cougar

I have no idea why I thought he would be any help. So, I licked my wounds and messaged Andy (like I should have done in the first place) and knew whatever she had to say would be far more helpful than my stupid best friend’s word of “advice.” I just had to hope it would be enough to make all of these feelings stop.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga

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widowsofchaos · 10 months ago

Note

could you please do prompt 168 with carol x fem reader? if you’re comfortable writing that of course:)

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐨𝐭

synopsis: Trying to find peace at your job’s gala, but a familiar haunting shadow finds you once more.

pairing: dark!Carol Danvers x brown!fem!reader

ao3 // modern au // 5k words.

warnings: dubious wlw smut (forced stimulation, vaginal fingering), stockholm syndrome, toxic established relationship, domestic violence, mention of childhood abuse.

a/n: Carol’s outfit reference. title is a reference to the song, Mary by Alex G. requested 168. “Don’t get too close to that one, she’ll singe your fingertips and have you on your knees.” from this dialogue prompt list. dog metaphors, because I must write pain. Channeled my inner amy dunne for Carol. I’m sorry that I’m just finishing this 2 years later, but I hope whoever requested this, I hope you see this! <3

“She became the parent, the lover, the friend you’ve always craved for—- and yet, here you are,”

The truth can sting, just the sharp tip of a knife, flickering at the raw flesh. Poking and prodding till there’s small plots of ichor forming.

“——broken…” Her index finger arched, halting her words, still a vivid memory, “…. but not beyond repair.”

A scoff escapes.

“What is love without hate, I guess.” Unconsciously it spewed from your lips, the vowels felt like acidic vomit. A pregnant silence arose.

That all knowing head tilt, with those observant eyes—- always earned uncomfortable tension within you.

“Love isn’t meant to be confused with hate.”

The cigarette burns slow between your clenched fingers, nursing three fingers deep. Brown liquor swishes against the carved rocks glass, its clear silver grooves twinkles under the gala’s vermilion hues.

Fragments of words compulsively knock against the walls of your brain; as you mull at the gala’s open bar. A scorned woman who just wants peace, and quiet. Lingering stains of hurt that can last a lifetime settles to silence for once in a long time.

Showered an ugly duckling with affections, and built the pillars of security. Growing up in a childhood filled with anxiety and fear of attachments, lingering stains of abuse from the very beings who birthed you into this world.

She cleaned you, bandaged the scars, and assured you that she was the only one who adored you—- persisted that she was the only one who would.

Now, fighting violently in the legal battlefield of divorce, these past weeks have been mentally exhausting —- all whilst handling the burdening responsibilities of your profession.

Your very mind and hands helped craft this sophisticated gallery.

Your boss, Mr. Laufeyson, opened a new exhibit in the National art museum—- Norse history, one of his niche fixations. A man birthed on Norwegian soil, but raised in the monarchal land of England.

An established man who often seeks to explore the rich culture of his ancestors with much sophisticated adoration, and esteem. The Norse exhibit is now the largest section of the institution, with vast collections of rare artifacts protected behind hard stainless glass.

He breathed down your neck for long weeks, you had the task of restoring each piece that had been brought in, nearly breaking your damn back from all the hovering.

A gala bustling with a sea of middle-class folk, and self-proclaimed aristocrats of New York. You sought solace at the open bar, smoking a stogie—- and slipping into the whiskey.

It wasn’t a preferred choice, but it helps give a quick kick to your nerves. Seeking solitude away from pressures to gallant with faux professionalism, and an particular noisy friend, who should be presenting the Norse gods section.

Earlier, she was pestering with a thousand questions flying by the mouth —- if you ever gave thought to rekindling with Carol.

Dissociating into a mindless static, flickering at your clear square nails, as your cigarette burns slowly. At first, the mention of this exhibit with your boss months ago sent you into a frenzy of joy, but now—- it’s a dreadful experience.

All you long for is to start your weekend, to cuddle with your daug—-

“What an incredible scent you have—-”

Oh God, no.

“—- is that Histoires de Parfums, 1969?”

Fuck.

“I haven’t been around that perfume in a long time.”

It’s as if she can smell you a mile away.

A sensual, purring voice whispers near you. A shadowing silhouette eclipses the shimmering ceiling lights from your peripheral vision.

Your lips wrinkle, restraining the foreboding tears of frustration. Tightly nodding, swallowing a sob. Your breathing becomes heavier.

A hum, “It really smells wonderful.” With precision, the shadow sits onto the empty seat beside you.

“Thank you.” A forced smile curls at your mouth.

“With that scent, I’m surprised you’re not being hounded by the men here tonight.” A subtle wordplay, are you looking for anyone tonight?

As if your mind has forgotten all the bad, and reminisces on the good, all the fun, all the beauty that once blossomed.

“It’s not men I'm looking for.” You whisper, snuffing the cigarette into a provided ash-tray. A creamy hand strokes your knuckles, and your skin shivers under your blouse.

A jolt to your groin, and your breath hitches. All she can do is just touch you, and it’s as if you can get on your knees, and forgive her for everything.

“Why?”

You can see that pearly grin, from the corner of your eye, teasing and twisting.

“They’re too easy to hunt?”

You exhale a chuckle, eyes still trained onto the glistening counter.

“They bore me.”

“So—” Her voice lulls as a moan, “—- see anyone worthwhile?” Her fingers curl around your glass, twirling it by the rim. Your lipstick stain faces her direction, and bold as always, she lifts for a sip. Connecting the lip stain to hers, her eyes never leave yours.

It’s not tacky, nor forceful. How she moves is as if it is her nature.

Your eyes gaze over your shoulder, taking a full look. Finally, to drink in the force of nature that is your estranged wife—- Carol.

Her blonde tresses cascade on her shoulders, milky breasts on display. A pristine, black dress, that cuts and splits at the chest hem, polished nails, and clean skin. Her dress halts near her knees.

“Well, I have my eye on a blonde tonight.” You say timidly. Tenderly, your eyes glance fleetingly, a quick trace over Carol’s bodice, nearly losing your composure.

A pregnant pause.

That pretty pink mouth stretches smugly, as if the cat that got the cream. The hooks caught the flesh.

“You like blondes.”

Her tone lingers as an open question, guising the truth.

“Just one in particular.”

Sinking now, the hooks are tugging.

“Really?” Carol leans, her eyes hooded. “Which one?” Pretending to scan her eyes across the ocean of people.

But your eyes remain fixated on her. As if you were a lost puppy, just gazing at its human. Lucidly, influcating between the spaces of yearning, and guilt.

How at ease Carol is, as if nothing was wrong. The charming woman, the woman you thought she was. The woman she wanted you to think she was.

“The one in the black dress.” You say softly, and defeated brown eyes.

Carol’s eyes gaze back at you from the corner of her oculus, downcasting with a mirth, humming a chuckle. “Don’t get too close to that one, she’ll singe your fingertips and have you on your knees.” She shakes her head, an enticing warning.

A dangerous but delicious fruit hanging at your reach. She wants you to take the bait, urging you to—- to get you back in her grasp, and if she does, she won’t let you go.

This game, a cat and mouse play, is all too familiar. Playing as strangers, attracted together by lust, and curiosities—- the type of curiosity to feel the other’s flesh, subtle carnality. Act out, with playful words, pretend to be different people.

It slowly suffocates you, a twang in your chest, a reminder that this isn’t normal.

She isn’t normal.

Carol can be an array of personalities, she can be the doting wife, the whore in bed, the mother—- she can be the bitch with a violent mouth. Different faces for different folk, no one knows her true self, and she’s good at it —- real good.

So, when you tried to seek help from friends, they couldn’t believe it, nor did they want to. You’re not surprised that Carol snuck into the gala—- your co-worker, Maria, who you thought was a true friend —- the matchmaker from hell, let her in, unknowingly allowing the terror onto you.

But, that’s no surprise. Maria has been Carol’s right hand since their days in the Air Force.

None of your friends believe you—- and, it’s hurtful to admit, you’re too scared to speak about all the hurt Carol made you endure over the years.

Barely spoke of the discomfort Carol used against you, and all your shared friends thought you misinterpreted. All saying that Carol is just head-strong, and that you two are perfect together.

Carol feeds the fire with a ‘She’s just going through a tough time.’

Boundaries aren’t respected, everyone trying to push you back together, inviting Carol in social events —- to the point where you didn’t go out anymore, and just drowned in work.

“I like challenges.” Carol softly leans in, her breath fans the bare skin of your shoulder, “All the more fun when I win.” Her voice drops low, to a wispy whisper.

Her body heat engulfs you, and your eyes droop with haziness for a slick second. You can’t—- not again. No matter how intoxicating she can be, how delicious, it’s not worth your peace.

You’re too drunk for this.

“This cat is too tired to entertain.”

“Who said you were the cat?” Carol’s brow arches, halting you in your step. Carol’s infliction hardens, from the corner of your oculus, you can see the clench of her jawline. That pretty mouth morphed into a restrained frown, the same one you see before a punishment.

An offense has been made.

“I didn’t realize the roles were switched.”

The mask slips.

It’s always her way, her rules. Because no matter how clever, how coy the mouse can be, the cat always wins.

“You’re getting brave on me?” Carol asks.

And now the mask has been dropped.

“I think it’s best I leave.” You quickly collect yourself, a bit wobbly from the alcohol. Leaning against the counter to regain your composure, trying to stand upright.

Not this time. You won’t fall for her charm.

Carol sucks her teeth, “You’re seriously going to leave? Aren’t you tired of this childish bullshit?” Crossing her arms against her chest, lips wrinkling into a scowl. Carol talks as if scolding a child.

Your body twists in a haste, “My bullshit?” Your teeth are gritting harshly, hissing. Angry eyes pierce over the hill of your shoulder, fingernails digging into the leather of your purse; if not the leather, her eyes preferrable.

But this is a place of work, no matter how elegant the night is, you will scream if you have to—- just to escape her. You click your tongue, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I mean I’m usually amused by your brattiness,” Carol laughs sarcastically. “But, now it’s gotten too far.” Her fingertips graze your arm, toying with you, soft and playful—— her fingers grasp your arm in a clutch, earning a whine.

Her eyes are hooded, nearly tugging you downwards. A whine bubbles at the pit of your throat, too terrified to even move.

“You have to come back home.” Carol says, a strain to be sweet, but it’s as if a monster tries to be human. “I miss you.” She purrs, but her eyes … are cold, and agitated.

You remain silent, closing your eyes shut, gliding down in your seat. “Carol… have you signed the divorce papers, yet?” Your eyes stay glued to the sticky counter.

Carol chuckles, “You’re going to try to talk business to me, and you can’t even look me in the eye?” Her baby pink polished nails thump against the bar, thump thump thump.

“I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“And neither do I.” She sips her drink, smirking into the cup, “But it seems my wife likes to play games.” So light, so sarcastic, chastising you as if this was a running joke on your end.

“Carol, for fucks sake.” You pinch the bridge of your nose, “You made me go crazy.” You bite on those words, full teeth. Fingers curling into makeshift claws, vowels spilling as acidic vomit.

“Controlled me, like I was your puppet.” Your fingers curl and slither in gesture. “Manipulated me against the world, against our friends.” Your mouth opened again, the words weighing heavy against your mouth, but a hum interrupted.

“Look up at me when you talk.” Carol says, your eyes peer up through your lashes, owlishly. “If you’re going to lie, you might as well make it convincing.” She licks her lips, tasting the remnants of her liquor.

“I —- I—” you can’t find the words to even respond. You stare at her incredulously, she will never admit to it. Even now, she has you questioning your own sanity, if it was even worth fighting against her.

It’s not worth screaming about it. Not anymore.

“I have to go.” Swiftly, you stand up, with a bated breath.

“That’s how you talk to the mother of your child?”

Stiffening, as the hairs that align a cat’s spine, “Don’t you dare!” Your index finger pointing, shouting in a hush. “Stop using Kamala against me—” your voice wavers, throat nearly choking a sob, “You did enough of that in court.” Big brown eyes sheening wet, the last nerve shot.

Trying to maintain a level of calm, eyes fluttering back and forth around, seeing if anyone has witnessed your outburst.

“I don’t even have to do that,” Carol’s open palm gestures to your rigid stance, “she can see perfectly fine how erratic you’ve been.” Carol hisses, making your nose scrunch up.

Kamala adores — idolizes— Carol. So memorized by her strong, willful mother, since she was a waddling baby.

You haven’t dared utter a bad word about Carol in-front of Kamala, fearing to shatter the fragile bubble you curated as a shield for her. You wouldn’t let her witness the court meetings, especially the negotiations of joint custody.

By every fiber of your being, you’ve tried to make this separation as discreet as possible—- but Carol has been a devil, bulldozing those efforts. To make you appear as the bad parent.

You can’t stand her lawyer, Carol hired one who hails from Hell’s Kitchen—- fitting since he’s a thorn upon your rib. Subtlety bringing up your mental health, questioning your abilities as a mother —- no doubt, Carol was chewing his ear off about your past.

All Kamala knows is that her mothers are splitting up, with foreign lawyers, and that she now has to split weekends—- those pained brown eyes, her puffed cheeks, it kills you deeply—- all the guilt weighs on you, it feels as if you’re to blame for all the problems.

“You’ve taken so much from me, Carol.” You lean in, kneeling at her eye level. “My dignity, my peace— shit— even my sanity.” Your body anxiously fidgeting, breath quickening.

“But I will not, let you take my child away from me.” Your fingers dive into your purse, fumbling with irate, snagging the last cash you had—- with the finality of this conversation, slamming the money onto the marble countertop.

You carried Kamala, incubated inside you for nine months, fed her from your breast—- you will not lose her, not over your cold dead body.

“Goodnight, Carol.”

Sharply, you turn on your heel, leaving Carol without turning back. Walking with a gait, faking confidence, but truly at your core, a gnawing sense of uneasiness.

The corridor stretches as a miniature maze, the more you descend out of the gala, the less crowded it is. Turning left and right, trying to find the exit.

The ambiance is of grainy gray, the tinted blurred windows are foggy with the night’s shadows.

The echoes of clicking heels are faint, your mind doesn’t register, as your own feet and mind are stuck on auto-pilot.

“There she goes again,” an agitated voice snags your attention, brows furrowing, “always acting like the little victim.”

Not granted the chance to realize, in a flash, just as quick as you turned your head, rough hands grab you by the curve of your shoulders, throttling you against the chilled wall pavement.

Earning a hiss, and a gasp, stinging pain births and stretches along the muscles of your spine. Quickly, your fingers fruitlessly try to claw at Carol’s, but all it does is make her more enraged.

Carol thrashes you once more against the wall, and another for good measure; airy gasps of pain escapes you, tears beading at your lashes. That militant discipline seeps from her pores, it’s not a stranger to you, the rough edges of her touch is a familiar bruise.

“It may have worked with the rest of the world,” Carol barks in your face, nose to nose, “but it’s not going to work with me.”

Sniffling, your chin wobbles, trying to restrain a sob that burns your throat raw.

Carol hums, that tut of a sympathetic mother, “Look at us.” Her thumbs rubbing your shoulders, pressing on the blooming bruises. “I don’t like it when we fight.

Eerily, she influcates from predator to savior, “You always get erratic, and you know it upsets me.” Leaning in, her pink lips press a kiss on a falling tear.

“Where’s my special girl?” Carol whispers. Fear is beating inside of you, buzzing as tv static. Staring at Carol through your hooded lids, terrified, and confused.

Carol purrs, awaiting for an answer.

“I’m here.” Barely a murmur, you speak softly.

Carol thrives off of her aggression. But it’s not the traditional masculinity that some women possess in their personalities. She feels it’s the only gift her father ever gave her.

“It’s very cute that you try to fight me.” Carol mocks, her knuckles stroke your cheek. Carol hums, her eyes tracing over every facial feature.

“Let me see if she missed me.”

A string of no no no slip from you meekly.

One of Carol’s hands graze over your shoulder, twirling her fingers into your hair—- gripping between her fingers tightly. To then cup the nape of your neck, her thumb pressing slightly over your pulse point.

As she has you pinned by the scruff, her other hand flows down your cavlices, to your clothed breast—- she snags the collar to expose skin.

Groping a handful of your tit, she mutters still so soft, traveling down the path of your navel—- with a quick precision, Carol snatches your groin; more like clawing.

A sharp gasp escapes you, and all she does is laugh.

A quick glance at the end of the hallway, praying that nobody turns the corner. Carol snickers. “Afraid someone will catch us?” You exhale a huff, nose flaring.

“I remember you used to be quite adventurous.”

“That’s when I was young and stupid.”

Her eyes narrow, pinching your vagina in her hand even tighter. With her knee, she wedges her thigh between your shaky legs, spreading you more open.

Slithering her hand through the stitched fabric, her knuckles stroking your sensitive skin. Your breathing becomes heavier, and all she does is smirk.

Moving your panties to the side, Carol’s makes herself home to your body. Ashamed to feel yourself grow wet, and Carol moans.

“It seems she missed me.”

All unbridled frustration hits the hilt, you cry in a stretched whine, thrashing in her hold. In need to escape, you wanted to go home, away from her.

All these weeks of trying to flee from her, do the right thing to gain custody, to live a good life, give your daughter stability —- all of it goes down the drain by her simple touch.

Beating on her arms with fists, slapping and trying to knee her in a weak spot. Carol’s eyes darken—- as if she’s bored of the insolence.

Carol pushes her weight onto you, pinning to the wall. And her fingers don’t cease on her assault.

“I hate you.” You choke on a wail, your head tilting up as a child.

“I’ve saved you.” An expert circular motion of her fingertips, sending a jolt to your bundle of nerves.

“Who else can say that?” Carol leans in, her head tilting, as her lips meet your cheek.

Softly, she kisses you, caressing and grazing against the skin of your cheek.

“I took care of you, and you just want to leave?” Carol’s pink tongue slithers between her lips, licking and nibbling. Boldly, her fingers dove between your folds, playing with your wetness.

“You wanted a savior, baby, I’m it.” The bridge of Carol’s nose traces yours, humming at the wet sensation of your tears. “You were nothing before me—-” another finger plunging inside you, “—- and you will be nothing after me.”

“I — I — would rather be alone.” You say with a stammer, lips wet with tears. Mouth curling into a brave scowl, regaining some bravery, “I’ll be fine.”

Carol’s face leans a little back, tilting her head mockingly. “When I say nothing after me, I mean it—-” Carol’s teeth bare as fangs, “you’ll be buried six feet deep, before I let you go.” Her fingers grip the nape of your neck, tugging you in.

“No one can ever have you.” She whispers.

Your eyes are owlish, you don’t doubt her…. her time in the boot camp was extensive, you felt her trained strength many times—- she loves like a knife. Many bruises healed over the years.

Not brutal beatings, but very handsy.

A glimmer of fear suffocates you, your body keels as a leashed dog.

Her fingers slither against your peach fuzz, slipping between your mound, toying with your wetness. Splitting your velvety folds apart, Carol vulgarly strokes you with her fingers sloppily, staining the hem of your panties.

Carol grinds herself onto your thigh, you can feel a wet spot pooling at her silk panties. Your fingers are digging into her forearms. A rough dance of humping and grinding, both reaching for a high.

Your wet walls can’t help but suck her inside, clenching tight. Fiercely plunging in and out—— it’s been some time. Since the last time, you were touched. It’s bordering on painful, a bit tight.

You did entertain another for a while. A woman you met at a bar. Short dark chestnut hair, a soft posh english accent, a bold yet cheeky mouth. She said her name was G’iah, you never met anyone with such a name.

Despite the attraction, the idea of offering yourself physically was too overwhelming. But, the emotional energy was wonderful. It was a breath of fresh air.

You just couldn’t bring yourself to love another.

Skin screaming for touch, yet your heart is trying to fight back. The flesh only reminisces the good, but all the hurtful memories are chained to your mind.

Carol’s mouth ajar, hovering over the meat of your cheek. Your face scrunches, eyes tight, a whine boils at your throat. She breathes a chuckle. She always finds amusement in your misery.

Carol loves to play God—- the Old Testament God. In the carnal sense, and in spite. Worship her, and only need her, obey every command, but commit a sin—- and she shall see to it, that her pettiness will rule over your life.

Her fingers spread, your slick connects to her fingertips, flickering the gossamer thin threads between her expert fingers, diving into you.

Her teeth grazes your cheek, her warm breath cascading against your mouth. Torn between closing your thighs to stop her, or thrust your hips into her hand.

Carol’s tongue slips out, and kitten licks your parted lips. Her pink tongue licks your canines, inhaling your breath. Sweet scent of liquor coats your tongue, Carol suckles into her mouth, moaning at the taste.

A lewd pop comes from Carol pulling back on your tongue, as her fingers curl harsher. Bordering on pain, the pleasure is electric. Pulsing through you, as her thumb toys with your swollen clit.

Her moans are animalistic, you can feel her pussy splitting, a sensation of silk and waxed bare skin. Her clit is grinding fully onto your thigh. It feels so damn good.

A part of you wants her to cum on you. To use you.

Carol’s face tilts away from yours. Her brown eyes swirl with malice, narrowing for a split moment. A smile stretches.

“Kamala would be so hurt to lose her mommy—” Carol’s words earn a mean eye from you, but all she does is laugh humorlessly. “How could you abandon our child?”

Like a stab to your heart, Carol just twists the edge deeper. Her fingers still deep inside you, clenching in need for her to finish— to get you right at the precipice.

“I would never leave Kamala,” you speak with a strain, a rough slice at your throat. “I love her.” Bordering on pleading, your eyes water-sunk.

“Then why do you make her cry?”

“What?”

“Every night she asks why her mom isn’t home,” Carol leans more of her weight on your belly. Her fingers fucking you harshly, hitting that sweet spot so perfectly. Your juices are now soaking down her hand.

“She cries till she falls asleep. She thinks you hate her.”

Torn between rutting your hips into her palm, grinding and fucking her fingers as if it was one of Carol’s toys —- and the need for space, to free yourself from these clutches.

Salty tears fall to your wrinkling lips, shaking from silent tears.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Carol says, her voice smooth and affectionate. Her lips pouted, “We can be together again.” Her shiny blonde hair kisses her lashes, in the grainy city lights, she looks innocent.

“Don’t you want to be a family again?”

She pushes her fingers further, slowly playing with your clit— and then stops, edging you. She can feel your spongy walls nearly spasming. Carol knows how to play the strings of your flesh.

Damn her.

“I do.” Your voice gurgles in a sob.

You know she’s tricking you… and you enjoy it.

In some deep seeded—- an absolutely fucked —- part of you, relishes in it. Because it’s all you know. But, it’s that glimmer of tenderness, the kisses, and honeyed words that pulls you back in.

Back to mutilate yourself on her knife over and over again. And isn't that what love is? Carol would say, time and time again, after the dust settles from her fits of rage.

Wet squelching floods your ears, echoing throughout the empty hallway. Your hand trails to her waist, gripping her dress, roughly grazing the smooth skin of her waist.

Legs entangled, and Carol’s thrusts are getting faster, sloppy. Her moans are getting high-pitched, away from primal and more girlish.

You cling to her, in this moment, you just need to feel anything. And you know she needed it too.

A burst of euphoria, hanging onto each other, as if both would fall apart. Carol felt it, how you spasmed on her fingers. Clenching so tight, trapping her hand for a moment.

Bated breaths dance against each other, hair flying by the breeze of huffing. Yours are gasps of relief.

In a desperate plea, you reach for a kiss, but Carol pulls away.

“I hope you learned something …” Carol hisses, her fingers stroking between your slippery folds, agitating your over-stimulated clit. The meat of your thigh quivers, tailbone pinching as you try to mesh into the wall, far from her.

Carol takes her fingers out, leaving behind an empty feeling—- like a void. Without blinking, Carol unabashedly suckles on her two fingers, tasting you.

“I hope you make the right decision.” Carol whispers against her tips. Pulling her warm weight off of your bodice, a chill sweeps against the tepid sense of your belly.

Carol hums for a moment with a stony face. She tugs on the collar of your dress, the top of your bosom exposed —- it was a stiff gesture.

Without a word, Carol posed her spine, and walked away, a snide side-eye.

Leaving you behind with an ache between your thighs, love bites across your chest, and fresh bruises. Left behind in the chilled hallway, and in wrinkled attire —- as if you were a used whore.

Your head falls, crying into your chest. Your fingers pulling your dress down, your inner thighs tender. Your fingertips touch the wet spot Carol left behind near your knee.

A pause.

It’s wrong, but you crave her taste. Suckling your fingertips into the cave of your mouth.

You can still smell her fragrance lingering—- and yet, you crave it, hoping it clung to your dress.

Timid footfalls carry you through the high-end residential hallway. Bated breath, and in wrinkled clothes, you lift and loosely drop your luggage in your grip. Pacing back and forth, trying to salvage any scrap of courage to knock.

Your head is bowing down, chin to chest. A stop in-front of the door. The reasoning motivating your surrender blurs—- is it for Kamala only, or is it also that a loyal dog who always forgives?

A silent white flag has been waived.

A lonely dog always comes back.

Dull steps creep closer, syncing with the beat of your heart. One unlock, and another follows. Defeat seeps from your pores, a bone-rattling warning siren echoing in the rush of your ears.

The door knob slowly twists, as if she’s mocking you. But not a second more, the door creaks open. Green eyes blink back with mirth, and a smile.

No words are needed.

Carol hums, stroking your hair, fingers gliding down the terrain of your neck, guiding you inside by the nape of your neck.

Awaiting on the bed is a silk nightie, and skincare, curated by Carol’s choice. Pristine, wrinkled-free silk. Not one flaw in sight.

She knew you would come back. A cocky woman, and yet she’s never wrong. A stir of irate coils in your belly, but it’s snuffed before it can disrupt.

In the dark, you tip-toe down the hall. Elated and relieved, it felt like a century crept by, but it was only a week of separation.

Weekends weren’t enough. You needed to see her everyday.

Brown fingers slowly grasp at the knob, twisting open. The white walls are adorned by the flash of a night light that glows small stars glimmering against the ceiling.

A room of action figures, anime, music posters and a wall dedicated to her drawings. That familiar scent that never really went away, that baby smell that clung to her as an infant.

Kneeling into her bed, curling under the blanket. Legs curling underneath you, knees bent, as you caress Kamala’s scalp, furling her hair behind the shell of her ear. Your brown fingers melt into the onyx shine of her tresses.

Her sleepy cheeks puffed, she looks like a sleeping cherub. Silently, tears cascade against the hill of your nose, staining the pillow sheet.

For months, you’ve tried to conjure ideas on how to run away from this life with Kamala, but all your ideas end up in the possible reality of being arrested with charges of kidnapping, and never seeing your daughter again.

The truth of the matter is -— you will crawl skin bare in the deepest parts of hell just for her. Suffering silently in these marital ruins, for the sake of being able to raise your only child, is what you will do.

You don’t know what you want with Carol —- you don’t have anything else to offer as a wife, besides submitting your entire being as a sacrificial offering.

It’s all she ever wanted. Wholesome love is seen as a defect in Carol’s eyes, a trait taught to her by her father. Control over everything is what brings her peace. And being cared for is what brings you solace.

The only person in the world Carol doesn’t unleash her wrath upon, who she adores entirely, is Kamala. Never once has Carol raised her voice, nor her hand at Kamala.

It’s disturbing, to see Carol be so genuine in her affections.

But, you’re ever so grateful. Despite being a masochist, under all the rubble harboring in your cavity— is a little girl suffocating for tenderness. For anything, just for someone to hold her.

Carol is a peculiar creature, and yet she has driven you to the brink of madness over the last stretched months, because she can’t bear to lose you —-- that has to mean something, right?

But as you lay here, wallowing in the dead silence, staring at Kamala slumbering —-a thought came to you; a lingering fear. Paranoia gnawing at you, chewing away bit by bit.

You wouldn’t want Kamala to suffer like this one day.

#widowsofchaos wrote this #carol danvers x reader #dark Carol Danvers x reader #carol danvers x female reader #dub non con #dark elements #lesbian Carol Danvers

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